Comments

Coming of age — 14 Comments

  1. JOS – ‘Tis a world of fun and opportunity.  Patrick and tt have it spot on too.  And the best defence always is to put on a bewildered expression and say that you didn’t realise……..

  2. You can use the phrase “health to wear”.
    You can talk about the Troubles and mean the twenties.
    You can say – litres? litres? What’s litres? What happened to gallons?
    You can swank around on the buses and trains for nattin.
    And drive to the west on your tractor, pulling a caravan.

  3. “I legally became eligible to hold up supermarket queues while I pay for my purchases in small change” …

    Not forgetting coupons, clipped from various newspapers, magazines & packets …

    And to be free to remind anyone with the temerity to object, with the words “You’ll be old yerself one day, so piss off” … 😉 

  4. Its a time in your life when all you have to look foward to is perving at young wimin, counting the hairs on and in your nose as the ones on your head deminish, watching your cash deplete as the gran’uns clean you out and you get shite Christmas and Birthday pressies.
    A time when the Doc tells you no more smokes or your favourite tipple then fucking robs you.
    A time when waking and walking become painful (wanking a memory in the past). A time when you become irrelevant, invisible and worthless in society.
    No rest either. Anyone I know who has retired all are busier than before.
    Thank fuck I have over a decade before I end up on the scrap heap. Heh!

  5. Blackwater – I always talk in old money.  I buy gallons of this and pounds of that and measure everything in inches.  Confuses the fuck out of the young people!  I’m not eligible for the free transport for another few years yet.  Nor the free TV licence.  Or a few other things  for that matter.  have to have something to look forward to?

    Haddock – I don’t bother with newspapers [they’re full of shite] so I’m denied the pleasure of the coupons.  Doesn’t stop me asking for a pensioner’s discount though!

    Cat – Steady on now!!

    Slab – I’ll have you know I have a grand head of hair, and I intend top keep it.  Doc wouldn’t dare mention the smoking or the drinking, as he knows it would be the end of the pints I buy him, or the baccy I lend him.  The rest of your comments ring true though.  Heh!

  6. I legally became eligible to hold up supermarket queues while I pay for my purchases in small change.
     
    And don’t forget having to search through all your pockets because you come up 3 cents short.
     
     
    I legally became eligible to start sentences with “I remember when….”.
     
    I envy you. I can’t recall a thing.

     
     
    I legally became eligible to smell of stale piss.
     
    Easily done. Just don’t change your shorts for a week or two.
     
     
    I legally became eligible to wear my slippers around the village because I couldn’t be bothered putting on shoes or boots.
     
    As long as you don’t wear your pajamas along with them.
     
     
    I legally became eligible to wear a flat cap and drive at a snail’s pace down the middle of the road.
     
    Good on ya’! Obviously a tax payer. Wants his cut right down the middle.
     
     
    Best of all, I legally became eligible to be as fucking cantankerous as I like.
     
    So what was it before Illegal cantankerousity?

  7. Kirk M – 

    And don’t forget having to search through all your pockets because you come up 3 cents short.”  I always do, and I always politely refuse when they say I needn’t bother.  Unless there is a couple of quid involved, of course.

    I envy you. I can’t recall a thing.”  Nor can I but they don’t know that.

    Easily done. Just don’t change your shorts for a week or two.”  Surely you mean a month or two?

    As long as you don’t wear your pajamas along with them.”  Jayzus no!  I don’t want to be mistaken for the local knacker kids!

    Good on ya’! Obviously a tax payer. Wants his cut right down the middle.”  Spot on.  Except for the middle bit.  Heh!

    So what was it before Illegal cantankerousity?”  No.  Just now no one can complain.


  8. You forgot about the long johns! Or those all in one underwear garments that the cowboys used to wear with the built-in shitflap in the back, complete with six month old skidmarks.

  9. Ger – Not me.  I may do a drop of mugging myself but that’s all.

    InnisEanna – Ah! The old thermals?  Heh!  I ain’t that old.

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