The Nannyphone
There are times when I really wonder at the sanity of the modern generation.
I was poking around last night and came across one of the strangest things I have seen in a while.
Apparently there is an application [and I refuse to use that tacky term ‘app’] for your mobile phone that rewards you for going to the gym and penalises you if you miss a session.
Within two seconds of reading about it, I thought up enough flaws to make this idea completely unworkable, unless of course you have either an IQ in single digits or are a member of the iPhone generation, which amounts to the same thing.
First of all, how does the phone know you are in the gym? It can’t possibly know the location of every gym in the world so what is to stop me registering the back bedroom as my gym? All I have to do then is to stay in that room for half an hour and I get my reward.
Suppose I don’t particularly enjoy the gym and have only joined to watch wimmin in tight leotards? The chances are I am going to be regularly fined, so am I really so fucking thick that it doesn’t occur to me to remove the application from my phone? No application, no fine.
Finally, what kind of brain-dead moron wants his mobile phone to nag or chastise him? What kind of idiot is going to shell out hard cash for something that is going to cost him money? What kind of imbecile thinks it is fun to be ruled by a mobile phone?
I really despair for the modern generation.
All those thousands of years of evolution and look what we end up with.
It wouldn’t surprise me if they discovered that the dinosaurs had invented the mobile phone.
It would explain why they are extinct.
My cell phone broke and I decided to try and get along without one. Guess what? No problem. I reckon I must be the only person in America who does not now have one. It’s like a breath of fresh air; after years of being beholden to it. Mind, everybody else having one, I just borrow one if I want to make a call. I have even stopped strangers outside the pub and asked to use their phone- so far, again, no problem. Touble is they are all these touch screen Android thingys now. Not a fuckin’ clue do I have. Not only do I have to ask to use a phone; I now must ask them to dial the number for me. The missus has a new Android. I like the app! of the cat that repeats back to you what you say. Small things….? My parrot attacks the phone when it repeats back. Oh well, back to work. by the way, the other day, something odd about someone using a computer to bragg about getting rid of their TV? Maybe not.
I have a company phone and never get a break from the bloody thing. I’m retiring this year and have no intention of buying a replacement. Don’t know what the wife is going to do not being able to call me whenever she’s bored, He! he! he!
I discovered a couple of hours ago that my mobile had been off for several days. It’s battery had run down, and I remember noting that it was running low before the weekend. I hooked it up to the charger and was promptly inundated with texts informing me of all the calls and texts I had missed. Anything life-critical? Nah! Any important stuff? None. Anything interesting? Nope. Switched it off again.
Quiet today. All back at work? Where are all your psycho fants?
Modern technology, BAH, why the next thing you know we will all be sitting in front of a screen reading some drivel someone half a world away thought was interesting. Worse yet we may actually be typing in sarcastic comments in response.
TT – I was late in scribbling today. Maybe they all got tired waiting and went off somewhere else?
Jim C – Surely the world could never sink to that level?
The only phone I own is a cell phone. Why should I pay for a land line when I have my celly. The nice thing about it is the fact that I don’t have to answer it or respond to text messages unless I want to. People have asked me why I didn’t answer my phone and I have responded,…”Didn’t want to”. The technology is only as bad as the person using it.
I carry one in case of emergency due to a health problem, and wouldn’t go out without it. But nobody except the immediate family has the number.
What’s a gym?
“I really despair for the modern generation.”
I did that years ago as soon as Jedward got on the TV.
Brianf and Woodsy42 – Like myself, you use the yoke for making phone calls which is the whole point of a mobile phone. What I don’t understand is all the strange programmes that people buy. Who cares what the night sky looks like? If I want to see it, I’ll step outside after dark. Why would anyone want to advertise to the world where they are any moment of the day? Weird. Is there an “app” for removing boy scouts from horses hooves?
DD – Short for James. Or should that be Games?
Mossy – The rot set in long before those two. They are just another symptom of a brain dead society.