The science of Guinness — 25 Comments

  1. One of my very favourite tipples – Had a cracking time in the Guinness factory some years ago. How much would you pay for a pint of the black stuff over there these days?

  2. John – The research must continue.  It will be a tough consignment, but I will continue the studies.  Slainte mhaith.

    Cardi – Prices vary depending on the part of the country you’re in.  Somewhere around the €4 to €4.50 mark.

  3. Yawn, He was a bleeding bore. Just drink taste, savour and enjoy. Repeat until glass is empty, get another, repeat the process. Have anoter, wash the bubbils, repot the head, drunk sum more, get an udder, go for a slash empty the gas, reppet, hav an udder. fukkit I thinkle peep I’m durunk

  4. “I think tonight I had better do a lot more study into this subject” ..

    As we used to say Grandad .. “Time spent in reconnaissance, is seldom wasted” … 😉

  5. There goes nine minutes and seventeen seconds of my life I will never get back.
    Here’s another fact about Guinness. It’s cheaper to buy over here.

  6. Back in the day I was a bottled Guinness man myselfy, practically weaned on the stuff. As for the draft, I wouldn’t give it to a dying dog

  7. We believe in one drink, Guinness the almighty;
    Makers of cans and bottles;
    Of all that is drunk and un-drunk;
    We believe in one brewer;Arthur.
    The only son of Guinness;
    Eternally begotten of the hops;
    Hops from hops, barley from barley,
    True drink from true drink.
    Begotten, not made
    Of one distiller of the Father.
    Through it, all things were made
    for us men and our salvation.
    It comes down from St. James Gate.
    By the power of the market, he became incarnate,
    and was made a rich man.
    For our sake, we are crucified under Pontius Prices,
    Bad pints, suffer hangovers and AA meetings.
    On the next day we rise again in accordance
    with our scruples and ascend into oblivion.
    We come again to judge the living and the dead.
    We believe in one alcoholic beverage,
    Brewed and bottled under license.
    We acknowledge one, Arthur, inventor of the almighty pint
    Conceived in heaven, and sold on earth.
    Blessed is the one drink, through one father and many sons
    Sold under one label and distributed throughout the World.
    We look for the resurrection of new drinks,
    And a cure for hangovers,


  8. Haddock – I have always been very meticulous when t comes to experimenting.  I believe in repeating an experiment many many times in order to avoid errors.

    TT – Time spent in education is never wasted.  And the reason it is cheaper there is because we ship you the dregs from the bottom of the vats.  Hah!

    RonkonkomaCavan – I used to be a great man for the pint bottle.  There is a lovely bite to it that the draught lacks.  Pint bottles can sometimes be hard to find though.

    Slab – Stoppit.  Laughter is bad for the heart at my age.

  9. Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem
    with sex. “I think my privates are too small.” He says.
    The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. “Well,
    Lager,” he replies, quite bemused.
    “Aaaahhh. There’s your problem. It shrinks things,
    those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness.
    That makes things grow.”
    Two months later the chap returns to the doctor
    with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor
    by the hand and thanks him.
    “I take it you now drink Guinness?” asked the doc.
    “No”, replies the man “but I’ve got the wife on Lager!”

  10. Ian – That’s fine by me.  It just means I can appreciate it while experimenting.

    Not Green – That explains a lot.  *cough*

  11. A fine bit of scientific info there; but he still didn’t explain how it manages to turn your s**te black.

  12. It’s just beer!  Ok so it’s a Stout Porter Ale to be exact.  It’s stuffed full of alcohol to make you stupid and the black patent malt turns your shit black.  It’s just beer.  Get over it!

  13. InisEanna – I promise to do some research into that over the coming weeks.  Or maybe not……

    Brianf – “It’s just beer! ”  How very dare you!  But then I suppose you think Budweiser is a beer also?  Sad.

    TT – Kegs?  Bottles?  Cans?  Is there another way?

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