Those bastards in the Department of Health are at it again.

Their latest shimmy is to propose a tax on sugary drinks.

What I find so boring about this is its predictability.

Step 1: Hold an advertising campaign to frighten the bejeezus out of everyone.

Step 2: Start talking about epidemics.

Step 3: Mention [frequently] heart attacks and cancer.

Step 4: Turn the rest of the population against the proposed victims

Step 5: Introduce a law which only affects a tiny minority.

Step 6: Extend the laws one step at a time until it affects virtually everybody.

Step 7: Move on to the next unfortunate batch of victims.

Step one has already kicked in.  We are being subjected to a whingey advertising campaign that suggests that we are too fat if our waist measurement is above a particular figure.  This is patent bollox because there is no mention of height.  A three foot midget with a waist of 36” may have a problem, but a seven foot bloke would be positively svelte.  That doesn’t matter to them though as it is not the facts they are promoting – it’s the fear.  They want us to self diagnose ourselves as being obese, based on an arbitrary number.

Incidentally, I have noticed the same advertisement appearing on the foreign TV channels [Channel 4 or ITV], so this is not an Irish issue.  Oh no.  This is the bastards in Brussels at work again.

Step two has been going on for a while too.  Never talk about widespread obesity when you can talk about an epidemic.  The word ‘epidemic’ conjures up images of carts of bodies being wheeled through the streets while we all huddle under our beds in fear.  The fact that there is no ‘epidemic’ [obesity is on the decline] and that the word is defined as “The occurrence of more cases of a disease than would be expected in a community or region during a given time period” where an excess of body fat can hardly be classed as a disease, is apparently irrelevant.

Step three is just gaining momentum here.  Up ‘til now only smoking caused heart attacks and cancer.  Now they are including obesity and alcohol.  Suddenly smoking is not the unique killer they claimed it was, and now everyone is under threat.

Step four is the really clever one.  They know damn well that the majority don’t give a flying fuck about obese people, so they have to get everyone on board to ‘denormalise’ the concept of a spreading waistline.  Here they introduce the concept of ‘second hand obesity’, no matter how ludicrous that concept is.  They are already producing ‘studies’ which ‘prove’ that obesity is somehow communicable.  They want us to fear the overweight in order to have us clamouring for legislation.

Step five is now on the table.  Let’s tax sugar.  Fair enough you might say [if you’re a fucking sheep], but next it will be fats, then salt, then spices, then a whole clatter of things until tofu flavoured with vitamin pills and health food supplements is the only untaxed food left.  By then though, it’s too late as the gubmint can’t backtrack – it would be ‘giving out the wrong signals’.

Step six and seven have yet to happen, but they are coming down the line.  Mark my words.

How do I know all this?

Simple.

Ask any smoker.