Bring back the quill — 10 Comments

  1. It’s the same the world over – try getting anything done by an IT department in a big company.
    I’ve been waiting three fucking weeks for the wankers here to reconfigure my Blackberry after THEY successfully fucked it up.

    Printer out of ink ? Don’t worry we’ll have it back to normal before the end of next week – if you’re lucky.


  2. Cat – Tell me about it!  The only package I could find to configure the printer is a Windows one.  Windows  …   is   …   soooo   …   fucking   …   sloooooowww.

    Mossy – If you really want to mess with their heads, tell ’em your Blackberry isn’t working because it’s the wrong colour.  Anyway, you only wrote the comment as a not very subtle brag that you have a Blackberry?  Hah!

  3. It is a myth that computer products are designed by smart people. These people are delinquent kids who write in code. They are socially dysfunctional and have poor communication skills.
    I am not exagerating when I say that a computer is the most complicated thing in our lives. Yet, it doesn’t come with as much instruction as a bottle of mouthwash or an extension chord. If the computer nerds were required to write instructions for their products, they would not be so complicated and lacking in standardizations. 

    If the quill were to be brought back, few young people could use it. Penmanship is a dead skill. Few young people are able to sign their own names legibly. I am not just talking about sloppy penmanship. I frequently see signatures that I can’t recognize even one letter: not even an “O” or “T”. Some of these signatures are by people who have attained a PHD degree. 

  4. Ramrod – Maybe computer manufacturers should employ IKEA to write their manuals.  That would really fuck the system up?  I have to admit my handwriting has gone to the dogs in the last few years.  People mistake my writing for a doctor’s.

  5. Way heyyy heyyy here! This is too much of a coincidence! My neighbour, the Old Fart, rang me today to say that his printer would not print. I tried to take him through a few things on the phone but gave up. Ses I , “I’ll pop over to see ya!”  “Grand” ses he! Over I goes and after checking I see that he has the default printer setting wrong, so no communication. Fixed it in about a minute flat :-). The OF was happy out! Few minutes later he rings me, “Hey da printer is spitting out blank pages now!” Back I goes, guess what? He outta ink, the muppet.

    I guessed a lot of things about the OF over the years, but never did I imagine he was you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. If your lrcky bills seem a little on the high side have a search around your garage mate, I do believe the OF has tapped into your leckytricity supply.
    A tip, the cable may be very cunningly hidden.

  7. I have a spelling checker,
    It came with my PC.
    It plane lee marks four my revue
    Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

    Eye ran this poem threw it,
    Your sure reel glad two no.
    Its vary polished in it’s weigh.
    My checker tolled me sew.

    A checker is a bless sing,
    It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
    It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
    And aides me when eye rime.

    Each frays come posed up on my screen
    Eye trussed too bee a joule.
    The checker pours o’er every word
    To cheque sum spelling rule.

    Bee fore a veiling checker’s
    Hour spelling mite decline,
    And if we’re lacks oar have a laps,
    We wood bee maid too wine.

    Butt now bee cause my spelling
    Is checked with such grate flare,
    Their are know fault’s with in my cite,
    Of nun eye am a wear.

    Now spelling does knot phase me,
    It does knot bring a tier.
    My pay purrs awl due glad den
    With wrapped word’s fare as hear.

    To rite with care is quite a feet
    Of witch won should bee proud,
    And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
    Sew flaw’s are knot aloud.

    Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
    Such soft wear four pea seas,
    And why eye brake in two averse
    Buy righting want too pleas.

    Jerrold H. Zar.

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