Someone came sniffing around this site the other day looking for Citzalia.
I had forgotten about Citzalia.
What is it, you may well ask? Hah!
Citzalia is a game that has been developed by our friends, lords and masters in Brussels for us to play. Isn’t that exciting? It only cost a bit over a quarter of a million, which is chicken-feed to the EU. After all, that probably only represents the travel allowance of a single MEP?
The idea of the game is quite simple. It is a virtual reality thing representing the goings on in Brussels. You can wander around and attend meetings. You can debate issues and put forward proposals. There is only one problem with it – it is so far removed from reality as to not even qualify for the name ‘virtual’. Are they seriously suggesting that any old Joe Soap can wander in off the strasse and put a proposal to an MEP? This is the organisation that wants a million signatures before they will even consider a proposal? Fuck that!
Nah! I think they should revisit this project and play by more realistic rules.
First of all, you are bombarded with promises. Join Citzalia and your worries are over. You will make lots of friends and you will all live as one big happy family.
You decide to join, but you are told that you have to provide your banking details. You fill in the form and immediately lose all the content of your savings account. Undeterred, because you have been promised endless riches you carry on with the registration.
OK. You are now a member. You decide to explore to see what’s going on.
You enter the Parliament building as you have been told that is where the action is.
You are promptly thrown out by security.
Outside the building you are promptly arrested, as standing in the street is against the rules of Citzalia.
Having spent a time in prison you are released only to be arrested again, as freedom is against the rules of Citzalia.
You decide to appeal for help from your representative in parliament. You are told that they are away in Thailand for the month and that they won’t talk to you anyway. The contents of your current account in your bank vanish without trace.
You appeal to the Court of Justice and are told that you can only appeal if you hand over the deeds to your house. You lose your appeal. And your house.
You decide that this game is maybe not for you so you decide to leave. You are told this is against the rules of Ctzalia, and that from now on they will control your entire banking and will only be paid what they see as appropriate.
You switch off your computer in exasperation. You computer refuses to switch off as it’s against the rules of Citzalia.
You sigh, and are promptly told that sighing is against the rules of Citzalia and are fined ten billion Euro.
You regret ever having anything to do with the fucking game but it’s too late now.
Homeless and penniless, they have you by the balls.
Luckily it’s only a game.
Or is it?