Uses for an Aras — 21 Comments

  1. I’m sure you would make a grand president but, as you don’t like sport it would be a bit of a hindrance.
    I mean, would you walk out on the hallowed turf of Lansdowne Road to greet the teams in the 6 nations ?
    Or to kick the English XV in the nuts !!
    Anyway, wouldn’t the Aras make a grand casino right in the heart of Dublin with plenty of parking.
    Much better than spending squillions on building one in Borris-in-Nomansland.

  2. I saw your post in my Twitter feed and thought it said “uses for an arse”

    Grandad for Prez.

  3. Mossy – Sport is not a problem.  I could bring a book or a Nintendo to the match to while away the time.  All I have to do then is give a cup to someone.

    Patrick – Remind me to invite you to the inauguration.

    Becky – I wondered if anyone would make that mistake.  A deliberate choice of words.  Heh!


  4. If you want to run for Prez; you can be ours next year. (I thought Aras was a town and WW1 battle in France.)

  5. No thanks, TT.  Your fella has to actually do some work, whereas our one does sweet fuck all except shake a few hands.  Our one tends not to get shot too much either [though that could change?].

  6. Would you be prepared to move into a smaller house though? And after yesterday’s rant about Windows I’m not sure you are cut out to be custodian of da light in da window !

  7. I hear that Rosemary Scallon, Dana to us all is thinking of throwing her name into the ring again for The Presidency. The Independent TD’s are also in the process of picking one of three ‘names’ for the contest too. Maybe Dustin will have another go too. What a fucking mess of Gobshites.
    Grandad, its time, we need someone to speak out for us, The Grandads of Ireland. Remember Mna na hEireann, well Grandads need a champion too. I’ll even vote for you as long as you have an annual Grandad open day, with bouncy castles, looodza booze, entertainments and maybe even Jean Byrne in her slash dress reading the weather, oooooh yeah….

  8. Oh sweet FUCK!  That bint Dana is running.  Just because many many years ago she won a fucking song contest she thinks that makes her presidential material.

    Not Green – I shall retain both mansions.  I will need a small place to spend the odd weekend to refresh myself.  The Aras will do nicely there.  I shall of course be replacing the light in the window with a five kilowatt incandescent bulb.  We must think of the environment.

    Slab – If When I get elected the place shall indeed be thrown open to all of Mature Years.  Every day shall be a Grandad’s Day with loadsa booze and wimmin.  Ireland shall enter a new era of enlightenment.

  9. If you became president you’d get to meet celebs like the Emperor of Japan, Queen Beatrice of the Netherlands, the Dalai Lama (you can smoke incense-flavoured plug tobacco in His Holiness’ presence), and the bass guitarist of some third rate rock band from Czech Republic. But would it look good if the meeja got a photo opportunity of Sandy peeing on the polished crocodile leather left shoe of the Emperor of Japan?

  10. Oh,come on now Ger!  Our Sandy would never pee on the polished crocodile leather left shoe of the Emperor of Japan.  She might pee on the polished crocodile leather right shoe of the Queeness of England, but that’s another story.

  11. Don’t you think an angry corgi might then start a nasty dogfight? Think of the damage to the soft deep pile carpet in the Arus – not Axminster btw.

  12. I’m only a new (and very slow) learner, but I do like the language, even though the learning curve is steep and very frustrating (especially pronunciation).   Did I get it right?

  13. Sean, your Irish is coming on fine. Just don’t call him Uachtar Reoite na h-Eireann. Something would melt on the shag-pile carpet and ruin it. Go néirí an t-ádh leat young chappie.

  14. Sean – Your Irish is a lot better than mine, and I used to be fluent.  Actually pronunciation is relatively simple.  Each letter is pronounced as it is [unlike English].  The only problem arises when you use modifiers like the fada [acute accent], but I ain’t gonna go into that now!

    Ger – I like ice cream…. 😐

  15. No please – not Dana – can we not have Mary McAleese for another term – though, to be fair, she may be sick of it all by now.

  16. ANYTHING is better than Dana.  No!  Hang on….   Anything is better than Dana, Sean Gallagher or Jackie Healy Rae.

  17. Angela Merkel? The glottal stop would resound in der Arus. Wir sind jetzt alle Berliner, would be an advance on John F. Kennedy. Though I seem to have the impression that Mary McAleese’s gushing speeches are more jolly in resonance. She also seems to have better dress sense than the pastor’s daughter, sorry Tochter.

    The presidency is a a headscratching conversation piece really. Do they have PR in North Korea?

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