For training purposes — 8 Comments

  1. Aw Geez!  You picked my pet peeve of all peeves there are.  I fuckin’ hate voice menus and hate is a word I don’t use very often but I repeat, I fuckin’ HATE voice menu systems!!!  ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!

  2. when people call my work and i answer my phone..they are shocked at reaching a real person, some so shocked and menu-sensitized they hang up because there is no press hello to say hello

  3. I do most of my swearing down the phone – for training purposes, I’m  almost quite fucking good at it now.

  4. I binned all phones a year ago and now no-one can get to speak with me unless then knock on my door… except I don’t answer the door unless I recognise the caller via two fortuitously placed mirrors but I am pleased to say my world is a much better place as  people generally say a lot less when they have no option but to write things down.

  5. Brianf – I take it you’re not too fond of them?

    Cat – I can well understand that.  I am always very pleasantly surprised when a real live flesh and blood person answers the phone.  Sometimes I am at a loss for words, as I have been bracing myself to scream abuse at the menu.

    Patrick – I admire your restraint.  In my case the phone, the television and Herself get it all the time.

    Bill – That is not a bad idea.  It would suit me particularly well as no one can ever find my house.  The only person who knows where I live is the postman, and he has the sense not to deliver anything irritating [like bills and things]. 

  6. The foreign call ‘Customer care’ centres are the best. You get some gobshite in Mumbai or outer Mongolia who no speeka da lingo, or you can’t understand a word of their pidgin.
    I remember being abroad some years ago, trying to call home on the landline, fuck sake, it was like trying to get an appointment with God. Then I discovered Ireland Direct, lovely, a friendly soft Irish Homely voice who understood. Now its just bloody machines. Technology = Progress?????? no way.

  7. Barely bearable for freephone numbers, but some are chargeable, often at a premium rate – e.g. 50p/min for the Tiscali helpline. Talk about rubbing salt….

    The ultimate insult is when you’ve been passed from pillar to post, gone round a couple of times, then cut off for good measure. BT are world leaders at this. I reckon I wasted a total of two working days phoning them last year. It does literally reduce one to tears, particularly when they threatened to send in the bailiffs for money they owed me. Basil Fawlty would have spontaneously combusted.

  8. What really annoys me (apart from the muzak) is the way they keep coming back every minute or two to say “please hold – your call is important to us”……No It Isnt obviously!

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