I wasn’t going to bother my arse writing anything today.
It’s too hot and sticky and I am knackered after two days work in the fields. Anyway I had nothing of interest to write about.
A few minutes ago I browsed the Interweb.
Some of you may not be aware of this [and Tinman obviously isn’t] but I fucking HATE memes. I don’t know why. I just do.
In this particular case, I am asked to give seven random facts about myself. Now, I might find it interesting to read random facts about other people, but I would find it exceptionally boring to read seven random facts about myself.
I am not going to do it.
As the Americans would say – no fucking way.
Instead I am going to give one random fact and pat it out with six random lies.
1. I am not a grandfather. I am in fact called Julie. I am twenty six years old and I live in Staines in Middlesex.
2. I have a star named after me. [a real star; not one of those Hollywood fuckwits]
3. I only have four toes on my right foot.
4. I have made an appearance on the BBC, ITV and RTE television channels for three unrelated reasons.
5. Twice, my life has been saved by the Lifeboat Service.
6. My middle name is Frances.
7. One of the above is not a lie.
You can guess away.
I may tell you later which one is true.
Or more likely I won’t.
I am now supposed to lumber 15 unfortunate souls with the same task. I don’t know 15 people who deserve such a dubious honour. By all means, if you want to have a bash, then feel free but you have to link back to me. Heh!
And for Tinman’s eyes only – You were supposed to write to me to warn me this was coming.