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Sale of Polar Bears to be banned

Head Rambles Posted on by

I am confused.

Once again there has been one of those utterly useless “studies”.  This time they have been “studying” polar bears.

As far as I am aware, polar bears generally go about their lives without interfering with us and we generally tend to ignore them.  That has changed very slightly of the past few years as the bears have unwittingly become a sort of mascot for the Global Warming religion.

I haven’t a fucking clue what the “study” of polar bears was about. I don’t know what they hoped to prove.  Maybe they were trying to prove that polar bears cause lung cancer or that the sight of them will force you to put on weight?  Who fucking cares.  What did strike me though was one of their findings –

The Arctic’s dwindling population of polar bears all descend from a single mama brown bear which lived 20,000 to 50,000 years ago in present-day Ireland

What?

This mama bear lived to the ripe old age of 30,000?  I am impressed.  It’s no wonder there are so many polar bears. 

But I am still confused.

If this bear died 20,000 years ago, how come she lived in present-day Ireland?  Not only did she breed like the clappers for 30,000 years but she took time off to time travel to present-day Ireland?  This would have been difficult as we don’t have bears in Ireland, so if she did turn up on her time travels, I’m sure someone would have noticed her.  A polar bear shopping in Tescos is not something you would forget?

All that apart, I can’t wait for the breathless headlines –

“Just one polar bear can kill”

“There is no safe level of polar bears”

“Study finds that 600,000 people die every day from smoking polar bears”

“New study behind calls to ban sale of polar bears”

You know how it is with these fucking idiots when they lay their hands on a new “study”?

 

Comments

Sale of Polar Bears to be banned — 20 Comments

  1. “Just one polar bear can kill”
    “There is no safe level of polar bears”
    “Study finds that 600,000 people die every day from smoking polar bears”
    “New study behind calls to ban sale of polar bears”
     
    You really should stop surfing the ASH website.

  3. More useless rubbish – Irish brown bears me arse.
     
    I suppose there could be few hiding in the Wicklow mountains (or up the Sally Gap) but then you would know about them would you not.

  4. I have seen a lot of very fucking strange things in the mountains, but no bears.  Bare arses maybe, but no bears.

  5. Third-hand Polar Bear farts are bad for the environment ..

    Breathing them in is positively dangerous, apparently, the farts can travel through walls ..

    For god’s sake, please .. No-one introduce Polar Bears to Guinness & Vindaloo ..

  6. I will pass the word on to our local Indian, not to serve any polar bears.  This will doubtless cause confusion as I can hear them now – “No we don’t server Polar Bears.. they are not on the menu”

  7. “Study finds that 600,000 people die every day from smoking polar bears”
     that made me laugh till tears ran down my face

  8. Is a bear’s bare bottom as bare as a  bald badgers bum?
    I hear the Blarney stone is losing it’s attraction – kissing a polar bear’s arse might revive tourism in in county crok.

  9. I found the information in the article very interesting. Never known anyone outside of our ‘bible belt’ or maybe Afghanistan as anti-science as you GD.

  10. “Study finds that 600,000 people die every day from smoking polar bears”
    Have they got filter tips? If not, why not?

  12. Cat – Sorry about that.  I hate to make a grown person cry.

    Patrick – It took us long enough to persuade those idiots to kiss a rock.  I doubt we would succeed with a bear’s arse.

    TT – It is because I am so pro-science that I have more than a slight problem with all this crap we are fed these days from people who stand to gain financially, depending on the outcome of their “research”.  I’m not knocking the Polar Bear thing but you know damn well what I’m talking about.

    Filthy – Low tar.

    Not green – Would I see a bear shitting?

  19. Jayzus Slab! I’ll have to give you the job of writing this stuff.  I like the one about what I do in my spare time and as for your last comment – have you ever tried to saddle a bear?  Dangerous pastime.

  20. Sorry ’bout that GD. I was a bit bored, nothing to do as Mrs Slab was out hunting Caribou in the snow.

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