There is some waffle at the moment about the Irish language.
One of the political parties [I’m not even sure which one] is suggesting that it shouldn’t be a compulsory subject in schools any more. Needless to say, that has boiled the piss of quite a few people.
Personally, the Irish language is not something that keeps me awake at night. I used to be able to speak it and was actually fluent in the subject, thanks to being sent to an all-Irish
concentration camp boarding school for a year. Not having used it for fifty years, I can barely understand it now, let alone speak it.
The Irish language is a very melodic language and is perfect for poetry or music. As a modern every-day language though, it has some major flaws, such as the inability to cope with any word that has been invented in the last hundred years. The usual solution to this is to fuck around with the spelling, but pronounce it the same way. You would never guess what the English for “telefón” is, for example?
The Irish language costs this country a small fortune. Every road sign has to have both languages, unless you are in the Far West, where they are in Irish only. The only advantage to this is that it is fantastic for confusing tourists. Every government document has to be printed in two languages which doubles the size of everything.
The only time in my life I ever had to use Irish was when I was interviewed for my last job, as Irish was a compulsory prerequisite. I confess it has come in useful when on holidays, as the chances of any French person being able to understand it are pretty slim.
If I were in government, I would ban Irish altogether. It would save a fortune on all those official signs and government documents. Tens of thousands of Irish kids would proclaim me as their saviour.
And what would happen to the Irish language then? I can guarantee it would flourish. Ban anything in this country and it immediately becomes very attractive. Why else would the smoking rates have increased so dramatically since the smoking ban came in?
Complex problem? Simple solution.