I think I can safely say that I do not like this time of year.
Halloween is like a speed bump at the end of a motorway. You are flying along at a respectable speed when suddenly you hit this bump at the end of October, and you know you are in for a very rough ride for the next couple of months.
Halloween used to be OK. Kids would sling an old sheet over their heads and go around the neighbourhood blagging apples or a few sweets. Then the fucking American thing took over and it became Trick or Treat. That expression really annoys me.
Then the clocks go back. That is another pain in the hole that I swear was introduced just to piss me off. I hate dark evenings, so they introduce this gimmick to make the evenings even darker. Fuck that. My clocks are staying the way I set them.
Post Halloween we enter the feeding frenzy that is Christmas. Already the advertisements are appearing. The same tacky shoddy overpriced crap is going to be rammed down our neck for the next two months. The same ghastly ‘songs’ are going to be crooned at us wherever we go. How I would love to consign Bing Crosby and Slade forever to Room 101.
It has been a pretty good Summer, as Summers go, and even now it is mild outside; mild enough that I needn’t wear a jumper. But from now on is when the weather takes a sharp downturn. The last of the leaves get blown off the trees and we are left with bare branches glistening in the Winter rain.
November and December are the country lane of the year, all right. Full of potholes, mud and rocks.
‘Tis time to abandon the car and take to the pub.
Somehow November and December seem almost bearable when viewed through the bottom of a glass.