Halloween is a speed bump
I think I can safely say that I do not like this time of year.
Halloween is like a speed bump at the end of a motorway. You are flying along at a respectable speed when suddenly you hit this bump at the end of October, and you know you are in for a very rough ride for the next couple of months.
Halloween used to be OK. Kids would sling an old sheet over their heads and go around the neighbourhood blagging apples or a few sweets. Then the fucking American thing took over and it became Trick or Treat. That expression really annoys me.
Then the clocks go back. That is another pain in the hole that I swear was introduced just to piss me off. I hate dark evenings, so they introduce this gimmick to make the evenings even darker. Fuck that. My clocks are staying the way I set them.
Post Halloween we enter the feeding frenzy that is Christmas. Already the advertisements are appearing. The same tacky shoddy overpriced crap is going to be rammed down our neck for the next two months. The same ghastly ‘songs’ are going to be crooned at us wherever we go. How I would love to consign Bing Crosby and Slade forever to Room 101.
It has been a pretty good Summer, as Summers go, and even now it is mild outside; mild enough that I needn’t wear a jumper. But from now on is when the weather takes a sharp downturn. The last of the leaves get blown off the trees and we are left with bare branches glistening in the Winter rain.
November and December are the country lane of the year, all right. Full of potholes, mud and rocks.
‘Tis time to abandon the car and take to the pub.
Somehow November and December seem almost bearable when viewed through the bottom of a glass.
“Then the fucking American thing took over and it became Trick or Treat.”
Well, shove it GD, we have to put up with your fucking Saint Paddy’s Day every fucking year ad fucking nauseum.
YEAH! What he said!
Halloween is as much of a pain in the neck here as it is there. WE also have to put up with green beer and fake red beards and drunks running around yelling ‘Kiss me I’m Irish’ by ten am every March 17th.
So fair is fair. You put up with Halloween and we’ll put up with St. Paddy’s Day.
Sure but didn’t the Americans commercialize everything, and weren’t the Irish the ones who took all these holidays over to America, I mean the millions of Irish people who went off to America, taking St. Patrick’s day, Halloween and every other Irish tradition with them, just think if it wasn’t for the Irish the Americans would be more ignorant than they are already. Just look at some of the comments that come out of their beauty contestants who don’t even have a clue that life exists outside of America. I say we send all the commercialization back to to them and let them keep it, every St. Patrick’s day, Halloween and Christmas decoration, let us celebrate the way it should be celebrated with good friends and family and not spending money on [email protected]!
Actually wait, it’s the Chinese that started making all that [email protected] so lets send it back to China.
The Christmas ads have been out a while, they just lose whatever veneer of subtlety they had once Halloween is done with.
I’m looking forward to banger season being done with.
Just wear a dog-collar when you answer the door and start rubbing your hands and leering. The Mammy in charge will have them off up the road before the child has the word ‘Trick’ out of their mouths.
What, only by 10am Brianf, jeez the lads must be gettin’ soft!
Its the start of the year is Samhain, Groandad, in old money. Out of the dark and towards the light and all that.
I had a look at some of the American websites and its great crack how they are doing their usual thing of making up bollocks about their Hallow’een.
Wiccans me arse. I have seen one site describe how the ‘original’ ceremonies included pomegranate seeds. Aye. Fierce large pomegranate plantations there were in Ireland in the good old day … Pookas sitting up in the branches jabbering away like monkeys I suppose.
I’m calling back De Valera tonight from the otherworld. So I can batter him back there with a hurley.
Happy new year.
Happy dead people day, son.
Little bastards just knocked on my door. These kids are new to the neighborhood. Didn’t know any better. They won’t be back next year.
If we all just banded together and stopped buying all this shit, maybe the loony crap would go away. I can hear the singing now…..”Hands across the Ocean”. And if you remember that, you are older than me….or is it “I”?