Busy times
I have been up to my eyes today.
I have had a bellyful of talk of taxes and difficult budgets and hair shirt times. Listening to the news these days is a fifty Prozac job. Even Sharon looks depressed.
I decided to do something about it.
So now all my spare cash is nicely tucked away where no fucking tax man can find it. I also now own a nice little drop of gold bullion. The little I have for day to day expenditure is in a foreign bank too. Just in case the tax man does hear about my shenanigans, I have registered myself as a charity.
That takes care of tax.
The problem then is how to avoid VAT and duties.
I have established a nice supplier of tobacco that the excise men are unaware of. I’m not bothered about the excise on drink as I know Pullit has his own dubious sources for the village pub. That just leaves petrol. There isn’t much I can do about that, as I refuse under any circumstances to go electric. I would rather be castrated with rusty shears than satisfy that fucking Green Party. I’m thinking of converting the car to run on waste chip-oil from the chipper in the village. That would have the nice advantage of stinking the place out, too. Just to be on the safe side, I have told the tax people that I am back in business, so if I do inadvertently pay any tax, I can claim it back.
It has been a lot of trouble, but it’s worth it.
There is no fucking way that clusterfuck of a government is going to get any cash from me to bail out their buddies.
I earned my nest egg.
They can go fuck themselves
Hey Grandad
Don’t give away too much of your financies on the blog or you might just trigger an investigation by the revenue. They have ways of finding out who your domain is registered to.
Great post, I have been thinking the same in the past few months. Fucking VAT, bastards. Converting your car to run on veg oil is a great idea and one that I’ve been looking into. They give you the option of buying oil from a producer here in the south–where the tax and VAT is included in the price. Or, they are trusting you to buy oil from Lidl and to pay the tax to the government yourself. cretins. I’m going to make my own beer and stout, they are going to get as little as possible from me.
Sean – The tax man is welcome here at any time. I will give him [or her] the traditional welcome for which I am so famous in the area. In fact, I hope they call soon. I have a new slash-hook I want to try out.
Irate – Welcome!! It’s not easy avoiding the tax m,an, but it can be done, I have to wangle up a few more ideas yet….
Not sure how it works in broke Ireland but here in the UK I run my imported Toyota Hilux on neat veg oil from Twatco and no problems. When the temp drops into single figures I simply mix 50-50 with diesel and still no problems, except I have to pay VAT on the FUEL TAX and the cost of the diesel.
Thing is the Revenue thieves say I can use 3000 L per year without paying tax but how on earth could they prove I used 3001 litres?
Another unenforceable rule that characterised the gorgon’s tenure.
you forgot to mention my shares in eBay!
For fuck’s sake! At this stage you must own eBay outright? You’ve thrown enough cash at them….