For the last couple of years the word ‘billion’ has become commonplace.

The problem with that word is that it is so similar in appearance and sound to ‘million’. We tend to forget that a billion is a thousand times greater.

The bailout of that junk bank Anglo is now expected to cost thirty five billion Euro. Let’s just look at that number. €35,000,000,000. Even now it doesn’t look very big?

Let’s look at the number in a couple of other ways.

Suppose that sum had to be paid today, and everyone had to cough up? It would mean that every man, woman and child in the country would have to hand over €9,000 on the spot. You have a wife and three kids? Your bill is then €45,000 thanks very much.

Suppose you had to pay it off all on your own? It’s possible. All you have to do is earn the average industrial wage, and hand every cent over to the government. You’ll have the debt paid in a mere 1,000,000 years. Of course you could pay it off in four years if you got the entire population of Cork to work on your behalf.

Where will we be in 35 billion seconds? Somewhere in the year 3,120.

Words really do fail me when it comes to this government and their crass incompetence. They are pouring money into a black hole as if it meant nothing.

And here is where I have another problem.

I have used up my stock of expletives to describe them.

I have called them fuckers, wankers, cunts and arsewipes. I have probably called them a few other things as well.

But like the problem with the word ‘billion’ I need a yardstick to express the magnitude.

I badly need new expletives to describe our government.

Fuckers, wankers and cunts just doesn’t cut it any more.

I need new words.

Help!