Introducing John
I don’t think I have mentioned John before.
He came to live with us a few years ago. He just turned up one night, and has been here ever since.
He’s an extremely quiet chap. In fact, Herself has never even seen him, and I only see him occasionally. He pootles around the place at night, and I have never seen him during the day.
The only time I know he is around is when Sandy finds him. I put her out for her last piss of the night and next thing there is an almighty racket from the garden – a sure sign that John is on his nightly perambulations.
Sandy is an extremely intelligent dog, and quickly cops on to most things in life. John however has her baffled. She sees him as a tasty bit of prey and goes on the offensive. John, being also quite intelligent, goes on the defensive. And when John goes on the defensive he is pretty much indestructible. Sandy hasn’t learned this yet, so she dances around him and then lunges. The resulting sound is a sort of “woof woof woof YIP!” This is repeated ad nauseam until I go out and rescue her.
You see, John is a rather large hedgehog, and when on the defensive, he is essentially a large ball of pricks. Pricks don’t feel very nice to a sensitive nose, apparently, hence the YIP part of the bark.
I tried to photograph him the other night. This wasn’t as easy as it sounds as it was pitch black out there, and it was a case of shooting off the camera in the general direction and hoping I caught him. After several attempts, I eventually did.
Now, I know the photograph looks a bit like one of those colour-blindness tests, but I can’t help that. If you are colour blind you probably won’t be able to see him, but take my word for it – he’s there.
Why do I call him John?
Well, I was all for calling him Sonic, but he took grave exception to that. He told me his name was John, and who am I to doubt him?
So John he is.
mmmmmmm ! Clay baked hedgehog.
Ahhhhh!! Poor John. 🙁
Might have him instead of my weekly Vindaloo?
Hi John!
How does it feel to be famous now? Had your first taste of the Paparazzi, I see. Yeah they can be bastards, lurking in the bushes in the dead of night until you pass and suddenly it’s all that bright flashing.
Price of fame, my prickly friend.
Got one like him ruling my garden. I tried to call him Arthur but he told me to call him “Sire”.
Dog had a go at him and lost most ignominiously. Spike holes all over his nose.
Now the dog kneels before him.
Winner.
aww hiya john welcome to the family. now i have shep who is like sandy but shep just might try and boss you round by barking at you and giving you the wolf look. sheps a border collie who thinks if it moves than it needs to get herded now my shep even herds me and herself aound the house as well. oh now that i think of it tell granddad that you cant drink milk as you cant digest it properly and you also like wee bits of cold ham. i think you might get a few tasty worms in the garden and you granddad and sandy play nicely ok.
They can move fast those hedgehogs.
There’s one round our house that scares me when I come home from late shifts. It lurks in front of the door. I put my foot down in the dark, feel something move, and jump out of my skin.
It was only because I flapped around so much and triggered the outside light sensor that I was able to spot the wee bugger scuttling away.
He – or she? – has been named Feathers by junior house sharers. I hope they’re being ironic.
Hedgehogs and dogs noses are a very prickly subject.
Sorry.
Hat, coat…………………………………..
Hedgehogs and dogs’ noses don’t mix very well, all right. Our Sandy is starting to learn. Last night we just had the circling and the “woof woof” but no “YIP” so I think she realised that hedgehogs aren’t to be trifled with.
Hedgehogs are great yokes to have in the garden though!