Here we fucking go again.

More Nanny State regulations to protect us from ourselves.

“The use of sunbeds by people under 18 years is to be banned by new legislation to be introduced by the Minister for Health and Children.”

While the health service are going around encouraging mothers to abort their perfectly healthy babies, our Minister for Obesity and Death has much more important things on her mind.

Let’s get one thing straight.  If someone decides to barbecue themselves in a sunbed they are harming no one but themselves.  In fact, I think it is an excellent idea.  It strengthens the overall gene pool to remove these idiots from the breeding process.  Sunbeds are there for one reason and one reason only – to promote vanity.  I say there should be one on every street corner, in every shop and every school.  Let the bimbos fry themselves if they want to.  Anyone whose mindset is so narrow as to think that a fake tan is more important than their health deserves to be grilled.

Obtaining a tan is quite a simple thing.  All you have to do is head up to the mountain tops and dig turf for a year or two.  Not only do you get a tan, but you get a lot of exercise and a lot of fuel for the fire too. 

People say that we don’t get enough sunshine in Ireland.  That’s true.  Sunshine is a rarity and a ruddy complexion is more likely to be the result of hail damage than anything else.  For thousands of years, from the time of the Celts and earlier, we have survived.  For fuck’s sake – Eskimos survive without much sunshine so why should we be different?  Why is there this sudden imperative for everyone to have a tan?

I believe it is the norm nowadays for kids to have sessions on the sunbeds before their First Communion or their Debs Dance?  What kind of shallow society have we got here? 

Does society benefit from this self obsession?  Are we better off for looking a bit darker?

No.

For fuck’s sake, let’s just let the brain-dead go grill themselves if they want to.

I won’t shed a tear.