I wasn’t going to write anything today.

Why?

Because it’s quite a nice day outside and the grass needs cutting.  I haven’t had the mower out since August last.

And apart from that, I just got a bit pissed off with writing.  “Give it a rest” I says to myself [I don’t often talk to myself, but I am a good listener, and don’t argue much]. 

Before cutting the lawns, I decided to update my SatNav, because it has been complaining that its maps are out of date.

I connected Roger to my laptop and went into the site.  It hummed and hawed a bit and eventually told me everything that I had already installed, and announced that I had downloaded the 2010 maps, but that they hadn’t installed correctly.  It told me to find the file I had downloaded, and to install it manually.  The fuckers didn’t tell me how to do this though.  “Double click on the file” says they.  I did, and the fucking PC just told me it didn’t know what to do with it.

I went back to the website, and they said that I always had the option of downloading it again.  I searched everywhere, but there is no place for me to download it from.  Fucking arseholes.

I searched the Interweb, and one or two people had the same problem.  They were told to unzip the file, and it would then install.  I tried that but that didn’t work either – it just said that it wasn’t a zipped file.  At this stage, I was on my third Prozac, and getting a little steamed up.  I decided to write to the company.

I had one hell of a job finding some way of emailing them.  Everywhere I went, they just kept offering me inane solutions to problems I didn’t have.  Eventually I cracked it and found a submission form.

They wanted loads of information, such as the model number [I knew that] and the serial number [I found that].  They also wanted to know the software version, but didn’t tell me how to find that.  Wankers.  I eventually found it by somewhat devious means that involves cracking into the maintenance section of the SatNav.  I filled out the rest of the rest of the information and typed a nice succinct message telling them my problem.  Before I sent it, I went for a piss.  When I came back, the fucking screen had somehow refreshed and I had to start all over again.  Bollox.

I eventually sent off the message, so I am now awaiting their reply.  I know it will be useless, even if I get a reply at all.

I need my SatNav, because if I have to go into Dublin at all [God forbid] then I get hopelessly lost.  I used to know the city like the back of my hand, but they have fucked around with it so much, with their new roads, and motorways and shit like that that I get lost even in the areas I knew particularly well.

So even though I wasn’t going to write today, it just somehow happened.  Something irritates me and the shit pours onto the keyboard.

I feel better now.

The fucking grass can wait ‘til tomorrow.