I was going to write the definitive dissertation today on how to solve the world’s problems.
Then I thought why the fuck should I?
Why the hell should I waste my time casting pearls before swine?
Have I really convinced any non-smokers that the anti-smoking laws are unjustified and unjustifiable? I doubt it.
Have I convinced any Fianna Fail voters that the shower of wankers that they keep voting in are ripping us off and have destroyed the country? Probably not.
Have I made anyone think and realise that we are grossly over legislated and that the majority of laws are just there to control us and leech fines off us? I would like to think so, but I am not under any illusions.
So why do I bother my arse? I know I have answered this before under the banner of “people have asked me why I write, and here is the definitive answer” but that’s a load of bollox. I am answering to myself now, and the truth is required.
Am I doing it for the fame and the fortune? Hardly. I despise the celebrity culture, and the idea of being famous is abhorrent to me. I like the quiet life. As for the fortune – that’s a joke. If it was money that I was after, I’d be charging to read the site, and then I would lose the couple of readers I have left.
Am I doing it because I think I have some vast intellectual wisdom that I need to share? I hardly think that ramblings about guinea pigs and gripes about the government come under that category?
Am I doing it to amuse people? Well, why the fuck should I waste my time tapping away here just to keep people amused? I don’t think I have much of a sense of humour anyway. If I had one, I’d probably go and tell jokes down in Grafton Street and collect a few bob in the old cap.
Do I do it because I’m a lonely old bastard who has no friends and desperately needs some kind of human contact? I don’t know about that one. I’ll have to work my way through my list of friends and ask their opinion about that.
I have been racking my brains as to why I do this, and have finally come up with the definitive answer.
It’s better than doing the washing-up.