Recently I was accused of being a misogynist which amused me somewhat.
Am I a woman hater? Fuck, no. I can’t afford to be.
Let’s do a head-count in Head Rambles Manor. Apart from myself, there is Herself who is definitely more than 50% female. Then there is Sandy [female], Minnie [female] and Fizz [female]. I have one daughter [sort of female]. It is reaching the stage where if I find a mouse in the house I check for gender and if he is male, I welcome him with open arms so I can have a bit of a manly chat.
Since I got married, oh so very long ago, I have been surrounded by female undergarments hanging from every available object. I had to grow a beard as there was no room for a razor in the bathroom. I know everything there is to know about tampons and sanitary towels. Unfortunately.
I like women, as Sharon will testify. I enjoy their company as they are less likely to talk about football. They do tend to talk rather a lot more than men, but provided the conversation doesn’t drag on too long and we can get down to serious business without too much earache I don’t mind.
I think the reason I was accused of being a misogynist is because I made some comments about a website that sold makeup and cosmetics. Now I must admit, I think makeup and cosmetics are for the main part a load of shite where the commercial world just cash in on the gullible, but I’m not totally against a drop of female grooming. I am a little put off when a girlfriend’s armpits can vie with my beard for longest hair, but apart from that I’m happy. Herself can look quite good too with a discreetly applied mask of
Pollyfilla makeup. Her eyes are beautiful enough [when they’re not bloodshot] that she doesn’t require makeup in that area.
I see the advertisements on television and I feel a little sorry for those unfortunates who fall for them – promises of rejuvenating cream and gunk that will make the head of straw look like a flowing mane. Of course they always use beautiful young Fine Things to give the impression that if you buy the crap, that you will end up looking like a top fashion model, but it’s true what they say about silk purses and sow’s ears.
No. I am not a misogynist. I love women.
In fact, I think I’ll drop down to the village now and see if I can find one to love.