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ASH are wonderful

Head Rambles Posted on by

I have had a complete change of heart.

I used to think that ASH were a shower of anti-smoking scumbags whose sole aim in life was to impose their morality on the rest of us.

I was so wrong, that I am ashamed to have ever attacked them.

You see, ASH are actually on the side of the smoker.  They are very clever about it though – so clever, they even had me fooled.

First of all there was that devious little move of theirs – promoting the ban on smoking, and then getting cigarette displays hidden.  That was really clever.  I thought it was a move to make life uncomfortable for us smokers, but it wasn’t.  And this is where the clever bit comes in.  By making smoking appear ‘bad’ and ‘undesirable’, they actually made it ‘cool’.  We all know how kids love to give two fingers to authority, and this gave them the perfect excuse.  Smoking is now the way to go.

I am quite breathless at the incredible subtlety of it all.  I thought I was devious, but this is ground breaking stuff.  Since they started their campaign some years ago, smoking is on the increase, and is likely to continue that way.  The more they apparently campaign against smoking, the more popular it becomes.  How devious is that?

They pulled another master stroke yesterday.

I have never heard of a group called Gorillaz, nor have I heard of Damon Albarn, but apparently they are world famous? [It must be a different world from my one?].

It seems that Damon, God bless his little cotton socks, lit up a fag during a performance.  This is a nice way to promote smoking, according to the EU.  I raise my hat to Damon, whoever he is.

ASH however realised that this covert piece of publicity was only reaching around 500 fans.  What a terrible waste of a great opportunity?  And here is where they employed another master stroke.  By complaining about it, they actually hit the major newspapers, thereby advertising Damon’s promotion of smoking to an audience of millions.

ASH – you are a really clever bunch.  I am so sorry to have ever doubted you. 

I shall be joining up at the earliest opportunity.

 

Comments

ASH are wonderful — 23 Comments

  1. This whole debate will get interesting quite soon as I can see that the urban pollution lobby is firing up; you’ll recall a few times I’ve pointed out that anti-2nd or 3rd smoking makes bugger all difference to the health risks for a human being;

    This is from the Beeb yesterday;

    “Pollutants such as ozone, nitrogen oxides and “particulate matter” – tiny particles – from transport and power stations have been blamed for contributing to early deaths. Particulate matter is estimated to reduce people’s lives by an average seven to eight months, while in pollution hotspots vulnerable residents, such as those with asthma, could be dying up to nine years early, the report says. Air pollution also leads to damage to wildlife and agriculture, with ground-level ozone estimated to reduce wheat yields in the south of Britain by 5% to 15%. EAC chairman Tim Yeo said: “Air pollution probably causes more deaths than passive smoking, traffic accidents or obesity, yet it receives very little attention from government or the media.” http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8578952.stm

    Meanwhile in Hong Kong … http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8579495.stm

    Kids are being kept indoors because a smoker lit a fag- sorry, urban and dust pollution I mean.

  2. Hmmmm?
    The venue staff didn’t see it.
    No-one complained.
    There’s no evidence bar the fact that the article says someone saw it but doesn’t elaborate on who which is either piss poor reporting or an admission that the account is fictional.
    ASH get a free bit of publicity.
    .-= not twitter´s last brainfart .. Harry Carpenter ruined my day =-.

  4. Wait till the pricks ban smoking in private cars and homes with kids in it – It’s on the way……

  5. off topic but since you are a group of tobacco connoisseurs… what is the best product to remove nicotine stains from your fingers?? Dont say smoke with the other hand as that is an art that is beyond my capabilities and still look “cool” which is obviously the point of smoking in the first place.

  6. Johnie : .. Take up a Pipe .. guaranteed, no more nicotine stains ..

    And the number of people who comment upon how rare it is to see a Pipe smoker these days is unbelievable .. Lol

    ASH = All Shit Heads …

  7. If you want my advice I’d stop probing my ass with my finger while smoking. The stains will mysteriously cease you have my personal guarantee.

  8. Cap’n Con – Isn’t that what I have been saying from the start?  I used to work in the city centre and had endless chest complaints.  As soon as I moved office, the complaints stopped.  Of course pollution is far far worse than passive smoke or any of the others.  A single double decker bus must pump out more carcinogens and pollutants into the air in a minute than a whole pub full of smokers would in a year.

    Not Twitter – One way or another, it’s still good advertising for “celebrity” smoking?

    Brianf – You must be joking?  It was your shower of Nazis who started the whole fucking scare with their hysterical [false] claims and twisting of the facts.  The American ASH seem to be the worst of all the varios ASH groups.  You only have to look at their web site.

    Dessiegee – They can go fuck themselves.  I own my own house and my own car.  No snivelling fuckface is going to tell me what I can, and can’t do in them.

    Johnie – It has been said.  Smoke a pipe.  More relaxing, cheaper and far less chemicals to spoil the flavour.

    Cap’n Haddock – I do my best on that score, you have to admit?

    Cap’n Con – People would be more inclined to shake hands too?

     

  9. Grandad .. You’re a Pipe smoker after my own heart ..

    And I totally agree with you where MY house & MY car are concerned ..

    I was recently parked in the car park of my local Hospital (waiting for my 82 year old mother to finish an appointment) .. I was having a quiet Pipe & listening to a CD, with the windows closed ..

    When from out of nowhere sprang a jumped-up little “Hitler Youth” type, complete with Hi-viz jacket .. who proceeded to tell me that smoking was “.. forbidden on hospital premises” by order of the local NHS Trust ..

    I proceeded to advise him that unless & until said Trust paid for my Car Tax, MoT, Insurance, Diesel & maintenance .. both He & the Trust could go fuck themselves ..

    I then turned up the Massed Bands of HM Royal Marines CD, to near top volume & ignored the little wanker ..

  10. What’s with al these mere captains ? By the bye I just sent you a kind of an e-vite.

  11. Cap’n Haddock – Fair play with the Jobsworth!  He probably went home and cried to his mammy.  It’s all he deserves.

    Commodore – Search me!  Every tosser who comments here is giving himself promotion these days.  I’m surprised that TT hasn’t been on complaining.

  12. Grandad, Through all the anti-smoking crap over all the years I have NEVER heard of ASH until you mentioned them in Ireland.
    .-= Brianf´s last brainfart .. Idealism vol. 1 =-.

  13. Brianf – They have been poisoning people’s minds since 1967.  To have a glimpse inside their nasty little minds, just have a look at their site – gloating about preventing smokers from adopting or from getting jobs.  Sick fucks.

  15. Grandad : .. the “jobsworth” toss-pot just stood looking bewildered for a moment or two .. then shambled off, no doubt looking for someone he could actually intimidate, like an elderly lady or some such ..

  16. Poor old ash. I think the kind of people who get involved are the ones who are in their forties ans still waiting for their first date.
    Maybe I am jealous, I wish I could feel that passionate about anything. ANYTHING!
    .-= Field Marshall SAm crea´s last brainfart .. back to CDs for me.. =-.

  19. I have seen a sudden spurt of interest across the water in banning smoking in cars.

    I reiterate –

    They can go fuck themselves.

  20. As the office for freedom2choose I have been getting a lot of phone calls from the media and theBBC on this today. Our media spokesman was on the Beeb’s world service going head to head with the Royal Society of Physicians, John Britton. He is anti everything that we may enjoy, smoking, drinking, salt etc.

    Pillock.
    .-= TheBigYin´s last brainfart .. Ban smoking in ALL cars…and parks…and… =-.

  21. BigYin – Heh!  I am well aware of [and admire] your status.  We need a Freedom2Choose here in Ireland.  I listened to the interviews as well [I do read your site!!], and that Britton is a bit of a smug bollix all right.  He’s not as bad as that other cunt though.  You know who I mean… 😉

  22. Yep smoking in cars with children under 12 banned here! Cigarettes hidden and you can only buy them from a designated cash register. Just as well ASH didn’t go to a Lilly Allen concert, she chainsmokes on stage. Oh you’d probably like Gorillaz.

  23. That is scandalous!  Children under 12 should be allowed smoke anywhere they like.  I’ll look up Gorillaz, even if they do fuck up my spellchecker.  They sound like a game for a console?

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