Einstein proposed the theory that time is relative.
According to his theory, time varies according to speed, and the closer you get to the speed of light, the slower time passes.
I would like to add a little codicil to his theory, and state that the older you get, the faster time passes.
I remember the hazy lazy days of my youth, where a day would seem endless. This was great, because by the time summer holidays came to an end, I had forgotten what school was like, as it was so long since I had been there. The other side of the coin was that school terms lasted for fucking years, or so it seemed.
Now that I have racked up a few years under my belt, things are different.
Days are flying past. It’s not exactly as though my days are packed with hectic activity which always seems to make time pass a little quicker. On the contrary, I life a slow life – a nice lie in, followed by a mooch around the Manor. Maybe I’ll wander off for a bit of hunting, of maybe I just won’t. You would imagine that I would be bored with nothing to fill my days, but the problem is that I don’t have the days to fill. The fucking things are flying past like carriages behind an express train.
It’s always Saturday in this place. At least, that’s the way it seems. It is always either Saturday, or it’s just been Saturday, or it’s just about to be Saturday. Saturdays are fucking haunting me. I wouldn’t mind, but it’s not particularly my favourite day of the week.
I could have sworn that yesterday was Saturday, but in fact it’s tomorrow. It’s back again. Where the hell are Monday, Tuesday and the others gone?
The months are playing tricks on me too. I could have sworn that this was the beginning of February, but apparently we are over half way through March. I noticed today that the Christmas decorations are still up in the village. That’s fine by my mind, because Christmas was last month. But in actual fact it was three months ago. Where in the name of all that’s holy did those three months go?
Maybe this is the answer to what happens to us after we die? Maybe time just passes at an infinite speed? I don’t know exactly what the effect of infinitely fast time would be? One instant it’s now and then it’s a million years in the future? Who knows?
But I bet it involves getting stuck in a Saturday somehow?