Thoughts on spring
My whole world collapsed over the weekend.
It was absolutely devastating, but these thing happen, and you just have to roll with them.
I have a favourite armchair. I have had it for years, and it is extremely comfy. It has nicely moulded itself to my contours and over the years, we have exchanged molecules so that I am part chair and it is part me.
I was sitting there minding my own business, when there as a bang, and I descended.
Yes. I went down in the world. The fucking chair had broken.
I spent a day in my lower position, pondering my lower perspective of the world and I felt rather nervous. If one whatever-it-was can break, then so can the others. Was it just a matter of time before I ended on the floor?
In the end, I upended the chair and cut the bottom off to take a look inside. There was quite a lot in there. There was a lot of dust and fluff, a dead mouse, two slices of pizza [I don’t know how they got there as I do not like pizza], several paper clips, €3.27 in small change and a broken spring. Yup – the steel spring had snapped.
I haven’t the vaguest idea where you can buy those springs, so I decided that rather than drive myself demented trying to buy a new one, that I would repair the old one. That is not quite as easy as you may think, as I don’t happen to have a welding torch, and anyway that just would have burned my chair to a crisp.
Any man worth his salt will tell you that one of the most vital things to have around the house is a Vice Grip and a few old wire coat hangers.
I set to work.
I’m quite proud of my efforts.
My binding tried to thwart me by slipping off, so I had to add some bits to stop any sideways movement, but as feats of engineering go, I think it’s up there with the Forth Bridge and the Hoover Dam?
I’m sitting back in my chair now. I have gone back up in the world.
Spring may not have arrived yet, but it is fixed.
You still have some way to go to match MacGyver . Good effort nonetheless.
Where is the live web cam when needed?
Be glad the spring projectile didn’t give you a hemorrhoidectomy, then you would have had a cleaning job on your hands too.
Nice job on the repair, actually looks well planned and executed. Probably something rare around the manor.
We used to get multi-channel TV (HTV and Southern) by using a coat hanger – a vice grip would have saved having to stand and hold it up in the air.
I can’t even see the join.
Robert – Damn! You have discovered my true identity. 😐
Sixty – I was kind of lucky all right. It shot downwards and impaled the floor. As for the planning – it was improvised on the fly. Wouldn’t you know I come from an engineering family?
Ian – HTV used to be the only channel we got here, and that required a four inch length of coat hanger sticking in the aerial socket. Perfect reception. Then they fucked it all up by introducing colour and all that rubbish.
What’s wrong with pizza ?
Welcome, Uncle Marvo! It’s neat, isn’t it? The gap is only a couple of millimeters?
TT – Just don’t like it. It’s the nearest thing to eating flavoured packaging, and I don’t like eating that either.
whats with every electronic thingamajig, be it washing fridges or dish hovers break exactly a week after their out of warranty?? For the love of allah, just this week my iron now vomits its internals all over my shirts and everytime I turn on the washing machine the power cuts off. And for whatever reason I decided to give the cooker a shack n Vac and now the clicker for the gas wont stop clicking. shoddy shoddy shoddy….
is there anything that clothes hangers can’t do?? only this weekend I actually used two clothes hangers cut into bits to create balance pins for my clavichord.
brilliant job Grandad, and you’ve probably saved quite a bit with that inventiveness – at least enough for a pint or two
.-= kae verens´s last brainfart .. clavichord keyboard and soundbox =-.
Ah, God be with the days of the VHF television. The old coat hanger was your only man for 405 lines!
.-= Ian´s last brainfart .. How old are you on the inside? =-.
Johnie – I feel your pain. My car was just outside its warrenty period and the instrument cluster failed. Coat hanger wire didn’t work and I had to fork out a sum equal to three times what I paid for my first car!!
Kae – Instrument clusters in a Focus? Sure didn’y I find enough small change for a pint? Incidentally I am following the clavichord development with interest. What next? A pipe organ?
Ian- ….. and the sparky lines that shot up and down the screen every time a car went past?
Glad to hear you’re well. Please give more updates on the guinea pigs. Their lives are often more interesting.
Spring has sprung. The grass is riz.
Great job. You might feel at home in this company: http://thereifixedit.com/
.-= Karyn Romeis´s last brainfart .. Magical augmented reality =-.
Welcome Tony. “Their lives are often more interesting.” The fucking cheek of ya!! Heh!
Cap’n Con – I wonder where the birdies iz?
Karyn – Hah!! A great site. I wonder if I should submit my work? Nah! Not up to their standard.