It is sad how boring the Americans have become.
When I started this site, some years ago, the Americans provided me with an incredibly rich source of targets for my hilariously funny and profound witticisms. Not only that, but they also provided me with a plethora of targets for my days out hunting.
Then they went and elected that Obama bloke.
I have nothing against Obama. The world is a lot happier place, now that we are all free from the threat of invasion and World War Three. But you have to admit – he is fucking boring.
Gone are the good old days of Dubya slamming his foot into it at every available opportunity. Gone are the good old days of invading every country that so much as sneezed.
The recession hasn’t helped either. In the Good Old Days, convoys of jumbo jets would fly Americans across to Ireland, full of loudmouths wearing loud clothes and carrying fine fat wallets, and at the end of summer, a Boeing 737 would fly the survivors back again. That is no more also. Now all we get is the odd Chet and MaryBeth over looking for their ancestral home, and they are usually skint by the time they get here. So the hunting season last year was the worst on record, and this year is not promising to be any better.
I haven’t written about America in ages. They used to feature here at least once a week, but sadly those days are gone. They never do anything funny any more. They have pulled up the drawbridge and for the first time in a hundred years are actually minding their own business. They still try to pollute the airwaves with their intensely unfunny ‘comedy’ programmes on television but I just ignore them. They still haven’t learned to spell either, despite my best efforts.
The majority of Americans who visit this site now are just looking for porn. One thing I can tell you is that the Americans are the world’s filthiest fuckers when it comes to pornography. If you saw some of the things they go looking for on the Interweb, it would make your hair curl. I mean to say – it would never even have occurred to me that you could try doing that with a guinea pig? I used to think it was the Russians who were the worst perverts, but those fucking Americans are only disgusting.
I miss the old days.
I wonder if there is any chance of getting Dubya back?