The most boring nation on Earth
It is sad how boring the Americans have become.
When I started this site, some years ago, the Americans provided me with an incredibly rich source of targets for my hilariously funny and profound witticisms. Not only that, but they also provided me with a plethora of targets for my days out hunting.
Then they went and elected that Obama bloke.
I have nothing against Obama. The world is a lot happier place, now that we are all free from the threat of invasion and World War Three. But you have to admit – he is fucking boring.
Gone are the good old days of Dubya slamming his foot into it at every available opportunity. Gone are the good old days of invading every country that so much as sneezed.
The recession hasn’t helped either. In the Good Old Days, convoys of jumbo jets would fly Americans across to Ireland, full of loudmouths wearing loud clothes and carrying fine fat wallets, and at the end of summer, a Boeing 737 would fly the survivors back again. That is no more also. Now all we get is the odd Chet and MaryBeth over looking for their ancestral home, and they are usually skint by the time they get here. So the hunting season last year was the worst on record, and this year is not promising to be any better.
I haven’t written about America in ages. They used to feature here at least once a week, but sadly those days are gone. They never do anything funny any more. They have pulled up the drawbridge and for the first time in a hundred years are actually minding their own business. They still try to pollute the airwaves with their intensely unfunny ‘comedy’ programmes on television but I just ignore them. They still haven’t learned to spell either, despite my best efforts.
The majority of Americans who visit this site now are just looking for porn. One thing I can tell you is that the Americans are the world’s filthiest fuckers when it comes to pornography. If you saw some of the things they go looking for on the Interweb, it would make your hair curl. I mean to say – it would never even have occurred to me that you could try doing that with a guinea pig? I used to think it was the Russians who were the worst perverts, but those fucking Americans are only disgusting.
I miss the old days.
I wonder if there is any chance of getting Dubya back?
Well Hell Yes we’re boring!
After we elected Comrade The Messiah he has set about to ruin us economically. His ‘Stimulus’ bill and his Wall Street and Bankers bailouts as well as his takeover of our auto industry has only helped to line the pockets of his croneys while crushing business both large and small with stifling taxation and overreaching regulation. He is still trying to ram socialized medicine down our throats. Because, you know, the British and Irish Health systems work sooo well. Even Canadian doctors come here for their surgeries!
Foreclousers and bankrupties are at an all time high.
Unemployment is over 10% and climbing.
OBAMA = One Big Ass Mistake America
So with his attack on our economy we can’t afford to pay attention much less a plane ticket to Ireland.
You’ll have to stick to hunting Polish tourists until we can get rid of him.
.-= Brianf´s last brainfart .. The (Re)Birth of a Blog =-.
Oh god! Brianf you’re not one of those teabaggers are you?
The Irish health system if you could even call it a system, isn’t actually socialised. It isn’t really anything other than a gigantic money sucking mess come to think of it.
The NHS in the U.K. is and is light years ahead of ours even so plenty of them over there complain about it. The French have socialised health care that works fantastically well as a friend of mine living there found out when she fell ill recently.
Anyway regarding Obama, I wouldn’t be a particular fan one way or another but the man inherited most of those problem you outlined above from the complete and utter moronic gobshite that preceeded him.
Brianf – You really have a thing about Obama! You should try taking a look across the pond and comparing our two countries. We have baled [and are continuing to bail] out the banks to the tune of billions, to the point where my great grandchildren will still be paying for it. You lot are heading out of recession; we are still heading further in. You moan about a 10% unemployment rate? We would love to have a 10% unemployment rate!!! Our health service does not exist, yet costs billions every year. Hospitals are closing on a regular basis, while other brand new hospitals lie empty through lack of funding. The only way to survive here is to have private health insurance which costs an arm and a leg. Our government is about as corrupt as one can get. We have just had or Minister for Defence resign because he was caught committing perjury [he only lost the ministry though – he’s still a representative with a huge golden handshake, a massive pension on top of his salary and no impending arrest for confessed perjury].
So be thankful for who you have, Brianf. He is a saint compared to our incompetent, corrupt, lying, thieving bastards.
Robert – Forgive him. He’s American.
I’m sorry we’re not supplying you with any entertainment or
victimstourists of late. Ever since Obama was elected to the Oval Office, the loudmouths (who are mostly republican for some odd reason) have all banded together in an effort to make him fail at all costs (the failure of their own country is included in those a”costs” apparently). As a result they’ve been much too busy of late to visit Ireland and be loud over there.Could you possibly wait a couple more years or so? The way the people are acting over here in the good ol’ USA I’m thinking the odds are now slightly better than 50-50 that we’ll actually elect Sarah Palin president in 2012. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of American “tourists” desperately seeking out other places to live at that point.
All in fun, mind you. All in fun.
.-= Kirk M´s last brainfart .. Can you read this? (and other online complaints) =-.
Nuthing wrong with my speling. But then I was edukated in Englund.
We’re boring because we’re broke! It’s tough to stir up trouble, when we don’t have any cashola. 🙂
Politicians are bleeding the coffers dry the world over. They are all the same blood sucking (because they have no blood nor souls of their own) hirudineans!
That being said, we have a dire problem in the western hemisphere. The younger generations, possibly including my own, seem to think that the world and country they may reside in, owe them everything.
I know a myriad of people that think the country should keep their lazy arses up because they didn’t have a daddy or their mommy was mean to them. You would not believe the series of excuses I have heard as to why people will not actually stand accountable for their own actions or work.
The Government is not GOD. It is not your Mum and it is certainly not yer Father! It is not there to console us, it is there to protect us.
If there is one thing that the Irish have taught me over the years, it is to Belt Up, Suck it Up, and move on.
There may be a day when I have to depend on my government, but I hope and pray that it doesn’t come for a long time.
I work two jobs and stand accountable for my actions. I am a man!
And yes, we are some boring and self centred feckers. 🙂
Careful Groandad. If Ms Palin gets in she proposes to draw a line between America’s friends and its enemies.
That promise alone should be enough to chill the most American of bones. The dumb across America will be on the march from McDonald’s to McDonalds till they reach Washington and blubber up to the monument. ‘Press the button, Sarah!’ they’ll cry. And she’ll say a quick prayer and do it.
Worry not. Even the Republicans aren’t dumb enough to allow Sarah Palin Executive Power. They tested whether she was controllable once and found she wasn’t. Don’t go taking any midnight walks Sarah…
You may yet get yer fun Grandad ..
Cos I reckon old “One term Baz” is destined for the same place as McSnot-gobbler is here … The political wilderness ..
Best bloody place for both of ’em …
Kirk M – Could you please, please, please elect Sarah Palin? The opportunities for hilarity are endless. That’s assuming the the world hasn’t been reduced to a radioactive dustball by her?
TT – Hiya TT. You’ve been very quiet of late? Have you joined the Militia?
JD – We have the same youth here. The country/world/life owes them a living. They have to rely on the government to wipe their arses.
Cap’n Con – Don’t forget that the Republicans were dumb enough to vote Dubya back a second time?
Cap’n Haddock – It is an immutable law that all politicians are only fit for the political wilderness. I don’t know why we elect any of them in the first place.
How do they spell “either” then ?
.-= Lorenzo´s last brainfart .. Follow Gordon he saved the World for you =-.
Grandad – No. (You got a spare room handy, just in case?)
Lorenzo – Depends on how it’s pronounced? (oh, that was terrible…)
Being european myself, after Ireland, the UK, Spain and perhaps parts of France, there is just this expanse of boring nations right as far as China. I just cant believe how dull these nations are, get stuck with these folks is like gettting stuck in an elevator.