I just received a phone call from Doc.
You may remember, if you had bothered to read in the first place, that I had been to see him last week, and he siphoned off a few pints of blood for tests.
Anyhow, he phoned me to tell me that the results are in. This is exciting stuff. It’s like waiting for election or exam results.
He sounded rather despondent on the phone. Normally, whenever he is giving me bad news he is very cheerful so I gathered by his mournful tone that the news was good.
Blood sugars: Normal
Prostate: Still have one.
Cholesterol: Within limits.
Alcohol level: 386 milligrams per 100 millilitres.
There were loads of other tests, and for each one is voice became more dismal as everything was within limits.
“So” says I, “it sounds like I am going to live for another day?”
“I’m afraid so” he muttered. There was a pause. “Do you still have that cough?” he asked hopefully.
“Nope. All clear, and back to full smoking.”
“Damn! You don’t feel like you are coming down with the Swine Flu?”
“No. Fit as a fiddle.”
“Bugger. Nothing wrong at all?”
“Well, actually, I do have an irritating noise in my ears.”
He cheered up immensely. “What kind of noise?”
“It sounds like a doctor touting for business” says I.
End of phone call.