It’s that time of year again.
The snowdrops have been in flower for a few weeks now, [not that you could see them for snow, most of the time] and the daffydowndillies are getting ready to flower. Best of all, the birds are singing their little hearts out.
Yes. It’s that time of year for rampant sex in the garden.
The birds all go ballistic at this time and merrily shag each others brains out all over the place. They have no sense of decorum at all.
I have been collecting Sandy’s hairs for the last couple of weeks, as she has been moulting like the clappers. I have a large plastic bag full, waiting to go out into the garden. The birds love those hairs, and almost literally kill for them, as they are ideal for nest building. I usually put them out under a bush in a large wodge and then let battle commence. It can be quite entertaining.
One thing that is different this year is the temperature.
On Sunday, it is the 14th. The more brain-dead amongst you will be getting all excited about Valentine’s Day, which is the greatest load of shite ever invented. Here at Head Rambles Manor however, the 14th is Frog Hump Day. Every year, on the 14th of February the frogs meet up for a shagfest in our pond. I don’t know how they know the date, but it is always the 14th. On the 13th, the water of the pond will be its usual murky self, but on the morning of the 15th, it will be covered with frogspawn. If you look out the window on the 14th, all you will see is a huge dark heaving mass of frogs as they all frantically fuck each others brains out. They make quite a racket too.
This year, the pond is frozen over.
They will presumably turn up on Sunday expecting a nice wet stagnant lovenest, and instead are going to find a skating rink. Presumably every thrust of the male is going to send the female slithering across to the other side of the pond? [“Oy! Come back here, Mavis! I haven’t finished screwing you yet!”]. It should be interesting. If it wasn’t so fucking cold out there, I’d mount a web camera to film the craic.
It’s not often you see frogs playing ice hockey.