I love living in the mountains.
There are one or two slight problems associated with the location though, and the principle problem at the moment is that roads tend not to be horizontal. In fact, I’m not sure where the nearest completely flat piece of road is around here, as it is a constant undulating area, occasionally interrupted with fucking steep hills. There is no way out of here without encountering at least one long steep second [or first] gear hill. A small, little known fact of physics is that steep inclines and ice don’t go very well together, unless you are into some hair raising weird sport. They are certainly not the motorist’s best friend.
I am completely cut off.
One of my biggest concerns at the moment is the central heating. My next door neighbour’s tank is nearly empty. I don’t know if he realises the fact [and he might wonder why I am concerned?] but it is irrelevant anyway as no delivery lorries can get here. So I am stuck with a choice. Do I freeze, or do I tap into the other neighbour’s tank? The latter is the obvious choice, but I’m not sure I have enough piping.
The other, and far more critical problem is that I am running very low on pipe tobacco.
I could send Herself down again, but I doubt she’d make it, and I would hate to lose her. I need someone to do the washing and cooking and stuff like that.
In the good old days, tea leaves could be relied upon in an extreme emergency, but all I have now are fucking tea bags. All you get in them is powder, which is fuck all use. We are a little low on pot plants at the moment, and with the oil situation, I am conserving the heating at the moment so I couldn’t dry any leaves anyway. There is a load of dog hair floating around the floor but you can take it from me – it doesn’t taste all that nice. I had to brush my tooth this morning after a wee experiment.
Are there any experts out there?
I need ideas.