I have always had a slightly uneasy relationship with our Boys in Blue.
I suppose it started with my first arrest when I was six. It was a trumped up charge, and somewhat soured my attitude towards the law. I mean, how the fuck was I to know she was going to start undressing just as I peered through her window?
I suppose you could class my relationship with the Gardaí as a sort of hate hate relationship. I think that about covers the spectrum?
Anyway, things changed when I met Herself.
You see, her father was a sergeant. That was a mistake. When it came to getting married, it was less a case of a shotgun marriage as a case of ‘marry my daughter, you little prick, or that stash of marijuana will see you down for ten years’. In retrospect, I should have gone with the arrest, as I would have been out and free after five. As it is, now I’m stuck for life.
Then we went and bought a house in the suburbs. I fucking hated that place, and for eighteen years, I missed the mountains. What was worse, we had the local sergeant living one side of us, an inspector on the other and an ordinary Garda living across from us. It was a fucking nightmare. Have you any idea how difficult it is to live by the law for eighteen years? It cost me a fucking fortune in bribes. Bastards.
I see now they are talking about going on strike.
I’m all for it.
It won’t make the blindest bit of a difference to the constant crime wave we have to endure, as the criminals ignore the Gardaí anyway.
It will mean the rest of us can carry on our lives without being harassed and hassled at every turn though.
Sharon the news last night, and our esteemed Minister for Justice, Dermot Ahern was on ranting about the proposed strike. For those of you who don’t know him, he is the progressive type who brought in our new wonderful blasphemy laws, just as every other country was scrapping them.
I gather he is not too pleased with the idea of a strike? He called it “an affront to democracy” which is fucking rich for a minister who’s government was hammered in the last elections and that refused to acknowledge they no longer have a mandate.
Anyhow, he donned his jackboots and told the Gardaí that if they went on strike that every one of them would be arrested.
Who is going to arrest them?