A few times in the past I have mentioned products and their websites.

I used to write a bit about Cully and Sully simply because I liked their attitude, and more important – I liked their product.  We had a bit of a skit about what to do with the left over ceramic bowls, and it was all a bit of fun.

Then I wrote about Elie and his fantastic range of handmade pipes.  I wrote about him because I had bought a pipe off him, and I thought his service was exceptional.  I also think he designs the most incredible pipes.

I have also written about e-Cigarette Direct because I bought a pipe off them, and once more they gave exceptional service.

Not only have I written about them, but I have put links on the side of the site.

All of these people have one thing in common.

Not one of them asked me to write about them.  I did it because I wanted to and because I thought they deserved a mention.

Now for some reason, known only to God and a small fella called Wak in China, people have started asking me to endorse things.

I keep getting emails asking me to link to their sites in exchange for a test of their product.

What the fuck is this all about?  Have I landed into a sort of alternative spam place?  Some place where instead of trying to add five inches to my todger, I have to try their products for nothing?  Weird.

I had one yesterday wanting me to try out a credit card.  They offered me one for nothing.  I have several problems with this.  The first is that I have a credit card that does everything their one does, so I would only be cluttering my pockets up.  The next and biggest problem is that to try it, presumably I would have to spend money on something.  I would have to go out and buy something I didn’t want just to see if a bit of plastic works.  And how do I tell if I like it?  What is there to like about a credit card?  It works, or it doesn’t.  I’m hardly going to rave about something just because it’s a different colour, and that is the only difference I can see.  No disrespect, but this ain’t the place for you.

I had another one asking me to write about tungsten wedding rings. 

What the fuck would I be doing writing about tungsten wedding rings?  They offered me a ring in exchange for writing about their produce, but I already have a ring.  It belonged to my grandmother and is 22 carat solid gold.  Apart from the sentimentality, it is a rarity these days, and I am very proud to wear it.  It is the only jewellery that I wear, or intend to wear so I doubt I would have much use for a tungsten ring.   No disrespect, but this ain’t the place for you either.

I had yet another request from another crowd asking me to link to their site.  I get quite a few of those and occasionally [please note – very rarely] I will add a link, if I like the site and if it is a blog.  This request though was from some crowd asking me to link to a religious site.  What the fuck?  Don’t these people know I don’t write about religion?  I wouldn’t mind too much but these bastards didn’t even try to offer something in return.  Not even a plenary indulgence.

So here is a little message to all you lot who are looking for endorsement.

READ MY FUCKING SITE.

Does it look like a site that tests products?

Does it look like a site that endorses things?

I am not interested.

Unless of course you want me to test drive a Bugatti Veyron. in return for a present of one?