A few times in the past I have mentioned products and their websites.
I used to write a bit about Cully and Sully simply because I liked their attitude, and more important – I liked their product. We had a bit of a skit about what to do with the left over ceramic bowls, and it was all a bit of fun.
Then I wrote about Elie and his fantastic range of handmade pipes. I wrote about him because I had bought a pipe off him, and I thought his service was exceptional. I also think he designs the most incredible pipes.
I have also written about e-Cigarette Direct because I bought a pipe off them, and once more they gave exceptional service.
Not only have I written about them, but I have put links on the side of the site.
All of these people have one thing in common.
Not one of them asked me to write about them. I did it because I wanted to and because I thought they deserved a mention.
Now for some reason, known only to God and a small fella called Wak in China, people have started asking me to endorse things.
I keep getting emails asking me to link to their sites in exchange for a test of their product.
What the fuck is this all about? Have I landed into a sort of alternative spam place? Some place where instead of trying to add five inches to my todger, I have to try their products for nothing? Weird.
I had one yesterday wanting me to try out a credit card. They offered me one for nothing. I have several problems with this. The first is that I have a credit card that does everything their one does, so I would only be cluttering my pockets up. The next and biggest problem is that to try it, presumably I would have to spend money on something. I would have to go out and buy something I didn’t want just to see if a bit of plastic works. And how do I tell if I like it? What is there to like about a credit card? It works, or it doesn’t. I’m hardly going to rave about something just because it’s a different colour, and that is the only difference I can see. No disrespect, but this ain’t the place for you.
I had another one asking me to write about tungsten wedding rings.
What the fuck would I be doing writing about tungsten wedding rings? They offered me a ring in exchange for writing about their produce, but I already have a ring. It belonged to my grandmother and is 22 carat solid gold. Apart from the sentimentality, it is a rarity these days, and I am very proud to wear it. It is the only jewellery that I wear, or intend to wear so I doubt I would have much use for a tungsten ring. No disrespect, but this ain’t the place for you either.
I had yet another request from another crowd asking me to link to their site. I get quite a few of those and occasionally [please note – very rarely] I will add a link, if I like the site and if it is a blog. This request though was from some crowd asking me to link to a religious site. What the fuck? Don’t these people know I don’t write about religion? I wouldn’t mind too much but these bastards didn’t even try to offer something in return. Not even a plenary indulgence.
So here is a little message to all you lot who are looking for endorsement.
READ MY FUCKING SITE.
Does it look like a site that tests products?
Does it look like a site that endorses things?
I am not interested.
Unless of course you want me to test drive a Bugatti Veyron. in return for a present of one?