A few people have asked me why I am giving up my little business.

There are a few reasons.

Silver Haired Internet Technologies [S.H.I.T.] has been running for a while now and has been surprisingly successful.  There was talk of being quoted on the New York Stock Exchange, but we must be thankful for small mercies.

Income has been damned good, and therein lies the first reason for quitting.  Those fuckers got to hear about it in the tax office and they started sending me bills.  I retaliated to submitting counterclaims, and to date, I am winning.  My Dad always taught me to quit while I’m ahead, so that is the first reason.

The main reason is that my laptop is running very slowly.

You see, web design requires quite a few programmes, and they take up a lot of disk space and a lot of memory.  Worst of all though is all the crap I am left with cluttering up my machine.  I have all the copies of the web sites and all the files that I never used but keep ‘just in case’.  40Gb is just too much when it clashes with my large collection of porn photographs.

There are other reasons of course.  I am getting a little tired of people phoning me at four in the morning complaining that they have just received an email offering them a larger penis.  I usually reply that if they had a larger penis they might find something more interesting to do at four in the morning than reading emails.  I am getting good at customer relations, and it’s a pity to waste that talent, but that’s life.

I am also getting complaints from the neighbours about the sign on the lane.  I had trouble with clients finding Head Rambles Manor so I had to put a large sign at the entrance to my lane saying “S.H.I.T. HERE”.  My neighbours are very intolerant for some reason.

So the wind down is proceeding.  It’s taking time, but it’s hard to kill a good thing.

I want to concentrate on my new business.

Anyone want to buy a pill that guarantees to enlarge your member by eighteen inches?