Walking The Plank — 9 Comments

  1. Tony S – It may only be a chatshow to you, Mate, but it’s a major catshow in this house. That fecker has cost me a fortune in pints.

  2. Be honest. You just want to see Pat cry on screen.
    Or would you rather apply the pliers yourself?

  3. Will – I don’t give a shit if he cries on screen as long as he fecks off when the show is over.

  4. Will he not launch a legal battle to claim ownership of part of RTE on the basis that he’s been there so fucking long. Ah, sure, he’s only a chemical engineer, they’re all dodgey, making their own drugs and all 🙂

  5. TLLS is on in the background here…and, even with all the sickening tributes the Plank-lovers of Ireland are giving him, he is still Plank-like and still making a complete arse of himself. Christ – here’s Joe Duffy to lick the plank….aaagh

  6. It’s an open secret in RTE that Pat has secured a slot in Fair City. He’ll play a working-class, 30 year old inner-city mechanic called Kenny Patterson. An early script nugget was leaked to the press:

    Kenny Patterson: Jaysus, would yi look at de bleedin hoop on yer wan?
    Leo Dowling: Feck’s sake Kenny, she’s young enough ti be yer daughter.
    Kenny Patterson: That’s how I roll Leo. Pat Kenny is an equal opportunities love machine. Young, old, fat or fatter.
    Leo Dowling: You mean Kenny Patterson?
    Kenny Patterson: Hah?
    Leo Dowling: You said Pat Kenny. Come to think of it, you bare a striking resemblance to The Plank.
    Kenny Patterson: I’ll plank you, wha?

    …and so forth.

  7. Pat is Ireland’s Letterman and Leno combined. A genius in front of the camera with his smooth interaction with guests of all ages. He brought TV alive when HD was an acronym for Hello Dolly. 7 Days was lightning when he took on the issues and the transistor in the morning with his show practically crackles with his wit and conversation.

    ‘Nurse nurse I think my medication has stopped working….’

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