Fat
I am tired of the NicoNazis and their obsession with smoking.
According to them, everything from Death to Global Warming is caused by people smoking.
It is time to focus our attentions elsewhere and cause a bit of a distraction.
The NicoNazis are wrong. The Global Recession, traffic accidents and Sudden Infant Death are not caused by people smoking. They are caused by fat people.
Letâs just look at the facts.
Fat people eat more and therefore are the prime cause of famines and starvation.
Fat people fart more and are therefore behind [sic] the high production of methane.
Fat people take up more room and are therefore the cause of overcrowding on planes and trains.
Fat people have to be saved from themselves and God knows the terrible damage that passive fatness is doing?
It is time we put our foot down.
It is time that fat people are forced to drink out on the pavement.
All advertising for fast food should be banned.
In fact all fat people should be shunned by society and made to eat in the RTE canteen. Thatâll teach âem.
Incidentally, can anyone tell be why men tend to develop beer bellies, and women grow fat arses? You rarely see men with arses that look like an oncoming crude oil tanker?
Passive fat?
I saw a woman at the weekend with proper cankles. I really couldn’t tell where her ankles began and her calfs(ves?) ended.
I pushed my lunch to one side as she waddled past huffing and puffing.
I dunno though, being an ex smoker I see your point and feel your pain.
Although,
Breathing second hand smoke is easier done than breathing second hand fat.
Maxi – Passive fat could be a bigger problem than we think? What do they do with the extracts from liposuction? Do the clinics really have a contract to supply McDonalds?
Think you will find that most nico-nazis are former puffers themselves. my experience of ex-addicts of anything is that they tend to hate being around their old habits. Ex-drinkers are an absolute pain in the (w?)hole. Cant imagine what a former fatty would be like, all hankering for a bucket of big macs washed down with a pint of eclair cream!
Dunno about global warming. Most vegetarians I know eat stuff that makes you fart like a demon, yet they are thin as rakes.
Also it could be argued that fat people are providing an excellent carbon sequestering service.
SAm – That leaves me wondering what I can give up so that I can become an anti fanatic?
Thrifty – They are as thin as rakes because they are starved. Actually, what I meant to say is that fat people eat whole pigs and cows, and they produce a lot of methane.
I think the Irish gubmint needs to delclare this a national emergency!
All people should be forced to walk to work. Anyone more than 5 lbs overweight should be forced to join a gym(on there own dime). Lack of Gym attendance will count against your drivers license. People who refuse to comply shall be refused entrance to fast food restaurants and chippy vans. As a final resort, those who continue to live a non-sanctioned, unhealthy lifestyle shall be relocated to a Gub’mint sanctioned re-education camp.
Brianf – What are you on about? America is the Blubber Capitol of the World!! Clean out your own house before laying down the law here.
Never a truer word said. You know the goverment were talking about bringing out a fat tax for ireland. its like when you buy food you have to pay a certain amount to the goverment on “fat tax”. I know that a certain resurant brought out the fat tax in ireland a few years back. I went in ordered some food and when i got my bill it had the tax on it. i aksed the waiter whats this charge for and he said well its a little charge we give to all our customers who are a bit over weight. I just gave him a hissy fit of a rant saying that i wasnt fat and i walked out of the resturant. Thank god now the so called fat tax resturant is now closed. I think that the smoikng ban was the worse thing that could ever happen to ireland.
Vicky – I’m surprised at the government bringing in a fat tax? Didn’t Mary Harney have a say in the matter?????
Slagging smokers AND big-eaters; charging a “fat-tax”; forcing gym-membership on people when we have parks to walk and run in and a lounge rug to do some exercises on? Are you all nuts? It’s a private decision for folk to smoke the baccy or eat crap. Now that the smokers don’t annoy the the anti-smokers, and healthy-eaters don’t dwell in the same eateries as Big-Mac-lovers, then all should be well, no?? Or have you all caught some Nanny-State-ness all of a sudden? Those that need a bit of boost to will-power to give up an out-of-control consumption if they wish have ample help and advice to avail of. I did it with cheese and that was hard [Parmesan].
Now that us smokers and polluters are banned from pubs, I think Premier League soccer matches and the ‘OY REF’ bellowers in pubs should follow suit. In the name of noise pollution. Ever called in for a quiet pint / bowl of chowder to a inviting tavern on a Sunday afternoon and had Alex Ferguson in your face? Banning fat people of invading your space is going a bit far I think.
Excluding McDonalds / BKing / Abrekebabra and Guinness farts naturally. Now that is pollution worse than an un-tipped Sweet Afton…..
I ate in the RTE canteen last week BTW and it was full of very skinny chat-show presenters and news reporters and tuna sandwiches. Maybe I didn’t see the obese section….;-)
@Vicki Rogers: Good points all around and no, you’re not fat at all. Waiter was blind, must have been.
@Grandad:
I should have been earlier. You took my response to Vicki’s comment right out from under me. That is if a slightly bent American like myself is allowed to comment on a cow like Mary Harney.
SHoop – Where did I slag smokers? I think any jury would acquit me on that one. I just thought it was time for me to lash out at someone for a change, seeing as I’m usually the target. I am quite happy to switch my sights to people who want to watch sport in pubs. In fact I woud be quite happy to start a campaign to ban televisions in pubs altogether, I have complained about them often enough. As for the RTE canteen – unless the standard of food has changed radically since my day, you will only find skinny people ther. They are all starved.
Kirk M – As a publicly elected representative, Ms Harney is fair game for abuse from any neck of the woods. And the more the merrier!
You didn’t slag smokers GD – I just wanted to get that off me chest / lungs and your blog was handy 😉
Can you imagine wiping the arse in that picture?
You really need come visit and not rely upon photos supplied by either the BBC or RTE.
SAm – That is disgusting. You’d probably get lost.
Brianf – No need to rely on them. I have several tons of evidence in various landfill sites.
Fat-bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go round. Everyone knows that.
Bit late on this one … but you should know i am ‘fatist’ .. Can’t stand fat people moaning about how tough it is, and how lucky i am not to have a fat gene … bollocks, stay out of Burger King then !!!