Grandad solves your problems
I was browsing through the mountain of mail that I get from my troubled readers when I came across this little plea from the heart.
Do you ever worry that you might offend people? I mean I really love your blog and your writing style is honest and frank and you take no prisoners. Which is great, but this happened to me last week.
I met an old school friend of mine and were talking about different things.
He said the following
“You know missus you tend to shoot from the hip quite a lot and for one so young that’s not always a good thing.”
Now what really annoys me is that he pointed and wagged his finger when he did this. I became really cross when he said this. So what I was wondering was do you mind you Ps and Qs when it comes to certain subjects or would you rather tell it like it is.
Dear Big Mouth,
Thank you for your kind comments about the site [Note to other readers: If you want a response, flattery will get you everywhere].
Yes, I do tend to tell it like it is, but then if you want someone to tell you like it isn’t, you’ll have to ask a politician.
First of all, you describe this person as an ‘old friend’. Is he your old teacher? Is he your father? If he isn’t one of those, then he doesn’t have a licence to wag a finger, which means your would be perfectly justified in biting it off if he wags it at you again. There again, he may have just been picking his nose and was offering to share some of the proceeds?
My simple answer to this problem is that if he does this again, I would suggest you reply something along the lines of –
“I think you are wrong. I am very sensitive to people’s feelings and I would never dream of calling you an arrogant condescending little fucker, and I wouldn’t dream of telling you that that finger probably spends most of its time up your hole.”
If I were you, I would then kick him in the nuts. Hard.
I speak from personal experience here, because a bloke once said something similar to me. He hasn’t said anything like it since. In fact he hasn’t said anything since. There aren’t many people to talk to at the bottom of The Old Black Quarry.
I hope that helps a little?
Thank you again for the wonderful advice. I love the way you speak honestly and how you take no prisoners. Your totally right they do take up to much space. I have since got rid of this persons mobile number and if i ever see him again he will get a good kick in the B and it will be a hard kick too.
I would just also like to say that i was reading your blog the other day the suffer little children piece and it makes me very angry as well. A friend of the family had to go to the christian brothers school and he did suffer badly but thankfully now hes doing ok thats thanks to a love of a good woman and his daft dog to keep him company.
I went to a school ran by nuns and to this day i really have no respect for them. You just have to watch certain films about the girls homes just so you can get my point. Thoses nuns were excuse my language complete bitches and i still hate them to this day.
Thanks again for everything and i have to say this again i really do love your blog.
One of the great things about getting older is that I can call a spade a
coonspade and get away with it because I’m just another cranky old fart. I won’t start back into the Suffer Little Children piece for the moment, because I too am extremely angry, especially at the utter shite that Ahern is coming up with. And it looks like I’ll have to appoint you ChairmanChairperson of the Headrambles Fan Club! Heh!
woo hoo your very own fanclub you must be chuffed. Well if thats the case pints of guinness alround so. I dont blame you for being angry herself (thats what i call my mum) is spitting feathers and very Peeved off with this situation and i certainly dont blame her. thanks again for the great advice. Thats my favourite saying by far calling a spade a spade. Its so true