Do you live in Tver?
Never heard of it? Nor had I until today.
It is a city in Russia with a population of around half a million.
I am interested in Tver, because there is a street in it called Sovetskaya. And the reason I am interested in Sovetskaya is because there is a sneaky fucking bollix by the name of Alexander Goganov living there.
Alexander Goganov is dead meat. He has about thirty nine minutes left to live before a 28 Megaton eBay special eradicates him, and all who live around him.
I am sorry for the other people of Tver. I mean them no harm but as the old cliché goes: you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.
You see, I have just wasted that last twenty four hours repairing a few of my sites. That little fucker managed to hack a little file on my server that caused Google to think it was spidering my site, when it was in fact spidering that little fuckers site. And his site is full of warez and shit like that, so Google now thinks my site is full of warez and shit like that.
I had plans for today.
I was going to celebrate the official opening of the Tourist Season by going on a little rampage with the lads, and then end up in the pub and get hammered. They have gone off without me now because I was too busy to go. I can hear the sound of distant gunfire, and I really resent being stuck here undoing all Alexander Goganov’s handywork.
You now have around thirty two minutes left, Alexander. Say your prayers to try to redeem your sad little life.
I’m off to the pub now.
At least all the day won’t be wasted.
I will raise a glass to the other 499,999 people of Tver and say a silent apology.
But shit happens.