I have been doing some introspection.
As far as I know, that isn’t illegal, and I quite often introspect in public.
I am doing as much of it as I can before the fucking government taxes it.
I asked myself why I write on this site.
Am I a sad little nerd who lacks friends and can only find a little bit of recognition by ranting on the Interweb?
No. I’m very happy with the friends I have. I live a quiet but full life and if the Interweb suddenly vanished in a puff of smoke, I would manage very well. After all I managed for the best part of half a century before it even was invented?
Am I a frustrated journalist?
To be quite honest, journalism never featured on the list of things I wanted to do when I grew up. Actually, my two main ambitions were to be an airline pilot or a cartographer. I don’t know how those two reconcile each other, but being a pilot was out because of my eyesight anyway.
Do I do it for the money?
Well, yes. I’m not embarrassed by that fact. I make quite a bit out of what is basically a hobby. It is enough to cover my hosting, and my domain name, and there is a little bit left over that pays for my month in France, with a decent bit of spending money. I like my holiday, and frankly I couldn’t afford it if it weren’t for the site.
So why do I really do it?
Basically, I enjoy it. I like writing. I like the challenge of coming up with an idea and putting it into words. I like the idea of being able to rant against the things that annoy me. I like the discipline that it imposes, because it is a self discipline. I doubt I could do it if I were handed my subject matter which is why I couldn’t see myself as a journalist.
I enjoy the banter that frequently crops up in my comments. It is not the raison d’etre though, and if I got no comments, I would probably still scribble. Comments do provide a big impetus though, I have to admit.
Would I continue typing if I lost my Interweb connection?
Yes. I probably would.
I am about to launch into my magnum opus. As yet untitled, it is a work of fiction, which is almost complete in my head but has yet to be put to paper [paper? Who uses paper these days?]. I don’t expect it will ever be published. I don’t have a written contract from a publisher. I am writing it because I want to and because it is a challenge. If it ends up in a box in the attic, I won’t be worried. If it accidentally leaks out and becomes a New York Times best seller, then so be it.
Time will tell.