In search of a photograph
I decided to go into town yesterday.
I got some library books out last November and they were cluttering the place, so I thought I had better return them.
On the way, I called into the local shop to get the paper.
I was greeted with a big grin – ‘We have got your tobacco at last, Grandad’ he said. Five fucking weeks and he expects me to be grateful? I thanked him anyway and told him his wife and children would be released unharmed.
This did cheer me up a bit so I sang quietly to myself as I drove into town.
I managed to get my usual spot right outside the library. It’s one of those places with a sort of weird wheelchair thing painted on the road but it is always empty.
I returned my books and took a saunter around the stacks. No sign of “Headrambles” anywhere, so I complained to the head librarian.
‘It’s on order’ says he. ‘There is a waiting list for it. Do you want to be added?’
’Nah!’ I said. ‘I have already read it. It’s not much good anyway’ and I left.
I decided to take a stroll up to the bookshop for a laugh.
The first thing I saw when I entered was a big display. They were flogging a book by Barack Obama. Now, it would be nice to have a best seller on my hands, but I’ll be damned if I am going to get myself elected as President of America just to get one. That is just too high a price to pay, and I don’t fancy living in The White House anyway.
I checked the best seller rack anyway, just in case. No sign.
I checked the new releases rack. No sign.
I checked the Irish releases rack. No sign.
I checked under fiction, hobbies, gardening, science and children’s. No sign, so I asked the assistant.
She brought me to the humour section for some reason, and there it was. ‘You’re in luck’ says she. ‘There is one left.’
Fuck that. I came to photograph a nice block of books, not a single copy. It looked sort of sad there stuck between “The Mega Book of Useless Information” and “Bad Cat”.
It wasn’t an entirely wasted journey though. I was getting very tired of our shopkeeper’s wife and her constant bitching.
I’ll be glad to be rid of her.
What a moment! It gives great spine.
Pity about its neighbours … but there’s the tobacco to enjoy. Not a bad weekend.
This post reminds me of that ad where the guy is looking for “Fly Fishing by JR Hartley”… that’s a good thing, by the way…
The Mega Book of Useless Information sounds interesting. Your book is in great company there!
Aw, I feel sorry for your solitary little book.
Do you think it’s on sale in Tesco? I’ll pop up later and see. It better be good, old man.
Susan – The tobacco is the important thing. I’m just off now to buy a couple of crates.
JL – Would it be very sad of me to ring around all the shops until I find one that says ‘sorry, sold out’? I suppose it would. I’ll console myself with Amazon that is now saying just that!!
Robert – At least I’m not next to Pat Shortt!!
Darren – It is only on sale in all good bookshops. I doubt it will be in Tescos. And of course it’s fucking good. *goes off in a sulk*
Well, look at it like this – doesn’t the fact that there is one lone book left mean that the others all sold like hotcakes?
I’m laughing out loud at the Obama competition – bad timing maybe?
Regarding the tobacco – well I’m relieved for you – you have been sounding a little off balance lately on that topic. Your man’s wife will be glad to be home I’m sure.
Isn’t it good to know that so many people have bought it that there’s only one left…… what price fame Grandad?
There’s a book too? Kewl!
Alright! Congrats on finding the book and tobacco, Grandad. A lone book is definitely a good sign. 🙂
Kudos to you, sir.
Delighted to hear the book is in the Humour section and not something like Current Affairs or Alternative Medicine or The Occult. And, equally pleased about the pipe tobacco getting through the blockade. I’ve just had to buy ‘Irish’ ciggies again as opposed to realistically priced, fairly-taxed ones. 🙁
I just caught the diddies in the header image. Is this a new addition? 🙂
Th one thing that concerned me was that I wold find the book in the Gay/Lesbian section, but apparently that shop doesn’t have one.
I have also discovered why they weren’t shipping my tobacco – they were too busy painting pretty pictures on the packets. I’ll come back to that one another day.
JD – You like the diddies? I had the operation a couple of weeks ago and wanted to show them off. I think they are great, though Herself gets narked when I rob her bras.