I decided to go into town yesterday.
I got some library books out last November and they were cluttering the place, so I thought I had better return them.
On the way, I called into the local shop to get the paper.
I was greeted with a big grin – ‘We have got your tobacco at last, Grandad’ he said. Five fucking weeks and he expects me to be grateful? I thanked him anyway and told him his wife and children would be released unharmed.
This did cheer me up a bit so I sang quietly to myself as I drove into town.
I managed to get my usual spot right outside the library. It’s one of those places with a sort of weird wheelchair thing painted on the road but it is always empty.
I returned my books and took a saunter around the stacks. No sign of “Headrambles” anywhere, so I complained to the head librarian.
‘It’s on order’ says he. ‘There is a waiting list for it. Do you want to be added?’
’Nah!’ I said. ‘I have already read it. It’s not much good anyway’ and I left.
I decided to take a stroll up to the bookshop for a laugh.
The first thing I saw when I entered was a big display. They were flogging a book by Barack Obama. Now, it would be nice to have a best seller on my hands, but I’ll be damned if I am going to get myself elected as President of America just to get one. That is just too high a price to pay, and I don’t fancy living in The White House anyway.
I checked the best seller rack anyway, just in case. No sign.
I checked the new releases rack. No sign.
I checked the Irish releases rack. No sign.
I checked under fiction, hobbies, gardening, science and children’s. No sign, so I asked the assistant.
She brought me to the humour section for some reason, and there it was. ‘You’re in luck’ says she. ‘There is one left.’
Fuck that. I came to photograph a nice block of books, not a single copy. It looked sort of sad there stuck between “The Mega Book of Useless Information” and “Bad Cat”.
It wasn’t an entirely wasted journey though. I was getting very tired of our shopkeeper’s wife and her constant bitching.
I’ll be glad to be rid of her.