We are coming to that time when we are inundated with People of the Year Awards.
I suppose in my capacity as Ireland’s Most Cantankerous Auld Fella, I had better give my list.
As yet, the list is incomplete, but some of the awards have already been allocated.
Sports Personality of the Year:
This award has been held over for yet another year, as we were unable to find any sports people with any personality whatsoever.
Loser of the Year:
This award goes to John McCain, for his unerring ability to select the most damaging running mate possible, and for his ability to consistently lose his head under pressure.
Hypocrite of the Year:
We are proud to award this not to an individual, but to a group – The Green Party. They won this prestigious award for being elected on an anti-Fianna Fail platform and then selling their souls just for the sake of a pension and a bit of power.
Politician of the Year:
This was difficult. In the end, Mary Harney was chosen for her dedication to fucking up the health service. She squeezed in [and it was a tight squeeze] on the basis that she has managed to kill more of the population than any other.
Lardarse of the Year:
Worst website of the Year:
This goes to TV3. I have never seen it, but they should shut the fuck up about it. Just because they won a Golden Spider! Any fucking eejit can win one of those.
Trier of the Year:
This goes to our old friend Bertie. First he tried to gain sympathy by resigning. Then he tried to gain fame with his antics at the tribunal. Then in a final desperate attempt for sympathy, he threw himself down the stairs. And still they laughed at him…..
Dimwit of the Year:
Again, this is a tie. The winners are Angela Merkel and Nicholas Sarkozy who, despite being leaders of Germany and France, still do not understand the meaning of a simple word – NO.
Blogger of the Year:
This one has me stumped.