A while ago, I signed up with Twitter.
I did it for the same reasons I started this site, and also joined Facebook and all those other shite “networking” sites – to see what would happen.
This site is all right. It’s a bit of craic, and I’m glad I started it.
Facebook is a pain in the hole and the only things it is good for is sending me annoying mails, and for buying and selling people. I’m getting good at the latter and I am now have assets of $15 million which will be handy if they reduce my pension any more. It also has the added benefit that I own some fairly tasty pieces of female, which I presumably can call upon, should the need arise.
Twitter though has me baffled. I am stumped. I am bewildered. I am confused.
What the fuck is it for?
The odd time I write something inane, and it vanishes off to that unknown place they call the cybersphere. It’s like sending a radio signal into space – it’s out there somewhere, but nobody is likely to hear it.
Other people are sending inane messages too, so the whole thing is a bit surreal.
Now don’t get me wrong. There are some very important messages floating around. In the last couple of days, I have learnt that someone missed his bus. I also learned that someone else got his first Christmas card. These are important news items and should be at the top of the Six O’Clock News on RTE. I would love to hear Sharon Ní Beoláin reading them out. Mind you, I don’t mind what she reads out as long as I can fanaticise as she is reading it.
Another disconcerting aspect of Twitter is that I keep getting emails.
Every now and then, I get a message saying the Joe Bloggs or someone is now following me on Twitter.
There are quite a few people following me now, but I don’t know why. Why follow someone when you know that they know they don’t know where they are going? It doesn’t make sense. I have this mental picture of myself wandering across the mountains with a couple of dozen people trailing me from a distance waiting to see what I do next. It is a little unnerving to say the least.
Or are they stalking me?
Now I’m really worried.