A very happy Halloween
On the whole, I quite like children.
Provided they are quiet, polite, aren’t the spawn of Skobies or tourists and generally keep out of my way, I get on very well with them.
Tonight is, of course, their night.
Usually I just lock the gates and electrify the door knocker [for those who are rude enough to climb over the gates] but tonight I thought it was time for a treat.
Earlier this morning, I called down to the chemist. Out the back of the shop, there is a skip where they fling all the disused drugs, and I had a grand old root around in it. I found some very interesting stuff. I brought some samples home, and have been grinding them up. I’m not sure exactly what they are, as most of them weren’t labelled, but there are loads of tablets and a few bottles of interesting liquids that I used to make a solution out of the resulting powder.
I shall spend the afternoon injecting the results into various bits of fruit.
I think the local children should be grateful. They certainly will be happy. A few of the boys might develop breasts which will give them endless amusement in the cold winter nights. Doubtless, I will cure a lot of sniffles and coughs that they may have, and if they don’t, they’ll be immune for the rest of the winter.
Life should be interesting in the neighbourhood tomorrow as all the various side effects kick in.
I can’t wait.
I’d safely say a few of those yung fellas will never leave their bedrooms again grandad.
Anyway, they should be thankful you’re keeping the M16 in the wardrobe.
There is one teeny tiny flaw in your plan Grandad – putting the drugs into fruit will never work. The chances of any of the kids ignoring the sweets they get and opting for the fruit is pretty slim. ::)
I’d have to agree with Ed here, Grandad. The kids will never eat the fruit you give them. Inject it into some toffee and they’ll gulp it down quicker than you can say “Here you are”.
Terence – I do my best to keep ’em happy.
Edladd & TheChrisD – Thanks for pointing that out. I’m about forty years out of touch with young people, so your input is appreciated. I am about to put on the pot to brew up a lovely batch of homemade fudge. While I’m at it I might as well make some ‘herbal’ biscuits [I’ll cover them in chocolate].
if that image is anything to go by I’m investing in Grandad Inc right away. Forget the recession, you’ll make a fortune from those apples!!!
Hi Grandad, long time no visit (family stuff). Home again now for a couple of days and curious to see what you’ve been getting up to…(!)
Hmm… Snow White antics – poisoning fruit for Halloween. I love it! But putting the ‘treats’ in fudge would definately be better. As for the moobs on that kid, Wow. What did you give him? Please send me some.
NaRocRoc – This would be a damned good time to buy. With the impending recession, share prices took a massive tumble so its a bullish market. Shares are now trading at $56,239.15 which is a bargain. You can see the trading history Here. 😉
Welcome back Geri! You were missed. One box of fudge in the post…..
I don’t know Grandad, that semar lad sounds a bit dodgy. Is he the one with the moobs in the pic above?!?
I love children to! But I couldn’t possible eat a whole one. Wanna share recipes?
I have put traps out around the Canuckastan Embassy for tonight.
Who knows… might catch a mexican kid. We could have a Pinata??
You joke about these things but over on this side of the western ocean it’s a grim reality. A few years ago some Japanese students were shot to death trick or treating in New Orleans by a homeowner. ‘Course he got off with it. ‘smy birthday tomorrow closely followed by Dia de los Muertos.
No, no I am not joking. I have bear traps and a moat all set up for tonight. And I am still trying to blow Santa Clause out of the air with a couple of rockets I got on Ebay.
The peace loving people’s of Canuckastan don’t have guns. Can’t hide them in our furry hats
NaRocRoc – I don’t know who he is, but I’m about to initiate a hostile takeover. I have the Semtex ready.
Cranky – Maybe next year? For some unknown reason, I have declared an amnesty this year.
TT – In fairness, People are liable to shot anywhere at any time for any reason over there. If you hand out guns to the general population, then what do you expect?
Was that you I was bidding against on eBay, Cranky? Bastard.
That’s why I was a 32C by the time I was 11, feckers like you.
What are you now, Maxi? 48FF [also known as a Harney]?
The name “Maxi” should answer you Grandad.
Ah! Maxi is short for Maximus?
I spotted a lot of adult skobies acting the maggot with fireworks tonight. Very near me the feckers. Maybe they got a taste of that fudge. Or too much of the “Fireworks4U” signs when you cross the border.
However….L’il Hoop won 1st prize for best costume tonight from South Dublin County Council – not even our own council. I am bathing in that glory tonight…..not a banger in the letterbox nor a stink-bomb in the air-vent will damage my pride.
Congratulations to L’il Hoop 🙂
There were a few adults messing around here too. But then it may just have been Stony from the quarries letting off some dynamite. He does that the odd time when he’s had a skinfull.
Ta. Lil Hoop dresses most weekends as Charlie Chaplin / Stan Laurel / Groucho Marx / Clint Eastwood / James Bond, so it was an easy win. Likewise, Stony must like this time of year for sheer cover.
James Bond on toast? Hmm. Stony doesn’t give a shit, especially when he’s pissed. We’re all used to him and just keep the dogs locked up.
Actually reality is more frightening. Its is so horrible I don’t even want to think about it. They are dressing up as, I can hardly say it, politicians.
it was sad around here last night…only had one bunch of about ten. we live about four blocks from the projects and these kids were from there. they had no costumes or facepaint and for bags they had those plastic grocery bags, which i had to replace for some of them as theirs had holes in them. what was so sad was that they were just standing on the corner trying to decide which house it would be safe to go to. had to holler to them…”yo, over here” where i was immediately bombarded with ten kids at my door all at once 🙂 it was great but sad. that’s all we had last night. oh and my big ole cat, georgie beat up a pit bull puppy…he’s so “bad” 🙂 of coarse he’s walking around here this morning acting like i would if i got in a fight last night…in serious pain. that was about it for excitement last night.
Things were fairly normal here. It’s very quiet up in the mountains, but numbers were up. I managed to collect a mere ten spent rockets from the garden this morning!
Congrats on taking over from Twenty Major. Congrats too on your splendid suggestion of what to do on Halloween Night. I tried out your attack. And it’s worked. Grace swallowed a load of fudge and this morning I’d swear she had the beginning of a something growing between her legs. It’s too early to say whether it’ll bloom into a full grown thing, but I’ll keep you posted.
Welcome back, Omani.
Taking over from Twenty? Taking over what?
As for Grace, do keep us posted, but please do not enclose photographs…..
So then – How many did you get???????