[written while I was still over there]
One of the things that strikes me about France is their propensity for doing things back to front.
The most obvious and immediate example of this upon driving off the ferry is their habit of driving on the wrong side of the road.
I have no problems with this and frequently do it myself in Ireland, especially after a belly full of Guinness. I don’t know whether it is the wine or not, but they all seem to drive on the wrong side here. My one fear is that I will come across someone sober who will actually be driving on the right side, but so far, we have been lucky.
Another aspect of French life is their habit of putting light switches in upside-down. We all know that you press the switch down to turn a light on, but here they have to be pressed up. They surely must find this irritating. I know I do. So in the interest of European solidarity and cordiality and all that crap, I have spent the last few days rewiring the house. As part of this job, I am replacing all their sockets, as the house we are in has only old fashioned two pin sockets, and Herself is bitching that her hair dryer doesn’t plug in. It is only right that everyone conforms to a standard, so now our house has beautiful three pin sockets, and all the switches have to be pressed down to be turned on.
As part of the rewiring project, I couldn’t help but notice that they had two sockets in the bathroom.
Everyone knows that live sockets in a bathroom are extremely dangerous, and in fact are illegal.
I therefore did the owners of the place a service and removed the sockets, and all the associated wiring. I’m sure the owners will be delighted when they are not arrested if their building is ever inspected. The fact that their gable wall fell down during the renovations is surely a small price to pay for not going to gaol for a lengthy period.
Another thing that seems to be upside down is their Interweb.
I have tried connecting quite a few times, but never get anywhere. Each time, I have asked for assistance, and they look at my screen and say "oh! I have never seen that before!" or words to that effect. It is annoying to say the least, not least because my laptop tells me that if I could connect, I would have speeds of 16Mb which is a hell of a lot faster than I can get at home. I could view my nude pictures of Paris Hilton five times faster!
Writing this, an idea has occurred to me….
Maybe the next time I try to connect, I should hold my laptop upside down?