Dense fog, dense people
The journey to France was quite uneventful.
I had a skinfull of pints which is only right and proper because I was on my holidays, and I wasn’t driving. If the captain wanted my assistance with anything, he was out of luck that night.
There is one aspect of drinking on board a ship that I like.
Normally, when one has indulged in a multitude of pints, there is a difficulty in the Gents, as the alcohol causes one to sway and to miss the urinal. However, on board a ship. the whole place is swaying anyway so one sway counteracts the other, and I found myself enjoying unerring accuracy even after the tenth pint. The same effect is noticeable when walking, so those of us who had indulged were the only ones walking a straight line. The rest were staggering around like drunken idiots.
Around six in the morning, I awoke and felt the need for a pee and a puff on the pipe.
I headed up on deck to find it was still dark. There was a faint glow in the east and it was very pleasant if a bit chilly.
After a while I realised I wasn’t alone.
There was a little fella there who wandered up to me.
“Good morning,” he said.
The sun was almost beginning to show, so I decided not to be pedantic.
“Good morning,” I replied.
There was no mistaking his accent. He was as English as they come. This surprised me as why would an Englishman be taking a ferry from Ireland to France, completely bypassing his own country?
He chatted amiably about the fine morning and the calm seas and then asked me where I was going.
I replied that I was heading down to the Dordogne.
He looked a bit puzzled and then looked smug. “Ah! Landbridge?” he said. “Are you driving down to Portsmouth tonight?”
I know some people take the ferry to the UK, drive south and then take a ferry across the English Channel, but that isn’t for me. I told him so.
He looked extremely smug.
“You do realise you are on the wrong ferry?” he said. “We’re heading for Fishguard. You Irish will be the death of me,” he laughed.
I asked him why, if we were on the Fishguard ferry, we had been at sea for over twelve hours and still hadn’t arrived.
He snorted and said that the fog had slowed us last night. There had been thick fog, all right but it hadn’t slowed us in the slightest.
He wandered off, chuckling something about the daft Irish.
I hope enjoyed his visit to Brittany.
Hehehe oh dear. It’s not exactly like getting on the wrong bus is it? Moron.
Well, strictly speaking I’m a brit (despite 29 years in Ireland) but with attitudes like that he deserves the couple of pegs he’ll have been taken down.
How the feck did he get on the wrong ferry? I can only assume that he ignored the instructions and went into the wrong numbered lane. Did he miss the magic show and kids disco that they put on for the sailings to France?
Oh, what’s the new ferry like, or were you on the old one?
In Rosslare, the two ferries are berthed side by side. Not an easy mistake to make, but obviously possible!
Thrifty – I’ll be banging up a series of scrawls over the next few days setting out my little frolics abroad. I’ll do a piece on the Oscar Wilde in due course [if I feel like it…].
That really happened?
Christ, I’d have done the little shit a favour and put him overboard.
TOOOO Funny. Gorgeous, having the last laugh.
Smoking certainly has its benefits LOL
I must say, being the smug Brit he was – he deserved it 😀
Ya weren’t tempted to follow him just so you could be there for the moment?
Wonderful!!! And to think if you’d gone a second or two later – you might never have met – you would probably have heard him as you disembarked though!
dang i hate it when you make me go drag out the maps and things! more you say? I guess I’ll have to keep the maps spread out so i’ll know what you’re giggling at 🙂 oh, and i think i forgot to say…Welcome Back! there’s order in my universe now.
Andrew – Out of resect for my English readers, I didn’t mention that I did actually follow up on your suggestion. I don’t know if he managed to swim to Land’s End.
Susan – Smoking has lots of benefits!
TheChrisD – Not half as much as he deserved what happened after.
Eolaí – It would have been nice to have been there as he drove off on the wrong side of the road, but I didn’t think of that. Next time?
Kate – No relation of yours then?
Prin – Rosslare = bottom right hand corner of Ireland. Roscoff = top left hand corner of France. England = that useless lump of rock in between the two.
‘Respect for my English readers’ har de har! I must say, I’d be tempted to follow him (not over the side, I mean just to see his face at the other end). Nice to have you back, oh hairy wonder. I’ve missed your Irish shite. LOL.
“I’ve missed your Irish shite”. Now, if that’s not a helluva compliment I dont know what is! How did the brit git (hey, that rhymes) manage to get Landsbridge out of Dordogne? He was obviously doing the straight line walk. Looking forward to hearing all about the french frollicking 🙂
Oh it was definitely a compliment. Although I don’t know why I bother when he’s describing my wondrous birthplace as a ‘useless lump of rock’.
Tsk.
Haha… Serves him right! 🙂
Ha, ha! Britannia certainly doesn’t rule the waves. The fact they have no sense of geography keeps that scenario impossiple. Welcome back, Grumpy.