Nice — 37 Comments

  1. Oh, I thought you were doing a post about Nice, the city in the South of France. Or Nice, the biscuits (never know whether to pronounce that like Nice the city or nice the subject of your post). I would have had a lot to say about either of those. But nice, as in nice people, no. Nothing to say.

  2. I distrust people who are nice all the time. I particularly distrust people who are nice about other people all the time.

    Either they are liars or they are naive.

    I really could not agree more! 🙂

    If you like, I would like to put your bad humour to good effect and ask you to please consider writing a post on bloggers’ phrases that really get your back up! For example, one increasingly pervasive one that I hate is “polishing a turd”. It is a crap phrase that sewerously makes me want to jump down off my stool and dump the computer in the toilet.

    This way you do not have to blow anyone’s blog to smithereens, but can still vent some steam and concurrently amuse me as a reader!

    If not to your liking, I will see if a local TD can pay you a house visit to listen to your grievences.

  3. If you decide to entertain yourself with tourists please try to give us advanced notice. I’ll include your village on a special itinerary for certain people I know. I promise there won’t be many of them, but it should be enough to improve your mood.

  4. knowing your delight in the good fortune of others, it should cheer you then to know we’re just back from a month in Taos, New Mexico –

    the weather couldn’t have been better;
    the locals were both accommodating and invisible, what a treat;
    the family squabbled not at all;
    there was plenty to see and do, but if we felt like napping that’s what we did;
    i even got Nora and the Astas to walk across the rio grande gorge bridge, no little feat;
    Nora continued her lucky ways at the tables; she nearly won enough to pay for the vacation, though –strangely- she didn’t offer to;
    i found a new pipe tobacco I love;
    and we’re all refreshed.

    don’t you feel much better now?

  5. Cathy – Ambiguity is a great way of getting people to read things they don’t want to read. Just ask the tabloids.

    Longman – I am delighted to say I have never come across anyone polishing a turd. What kind of blogs do you read [apart from this one]??????

    Jim C – No advance notice is given. We need our fun. Sorry.

    Doc – That comment is too nice. No. I don’t feel better.

  6. I cant stand jolly people for the exact same reason, anyone who smiles too much really. You left oput mentally unbalanced in your reasons though.

    they got some criticism for their blog,
    so go on, tear someone to shreds!

  7. oh thanks for linking to the criticism post there, the comments are gone to sh!t entirely
    “Reviews (being inanimate) cannot fuck”

  8. tin cans? what you need is to get two kittens, tie their tails together, and hang them over the washing line to fight each other. I hear the entertainment value is immense.
    could be funnier with tourists. and a stronger line – maybe a power line. that would make good reality TV – how long before the tourists start taking out their situation on each other?

    how about cold-calling a few telemarketing companies? always good for a laugh.

  9. Hey GD been in a hospital for a week,doc told me if i do not quit drinking and smoking ,i will be dead before i hit sixty.Have not had a beer in 10 days.smoking like a train though.Anyhoo here is something you might get a laugh about. This is how to polish a turd.

  10. Couldn’t agree more….. can’t think of anything ‘nice’ to say….. my dog and cat have gone into hiding (they sense my mood) I need cheering up too!

  11. they were neither picked at random nor torn to shreds… you’re right though, it’s no fun.

  12. well that post suits my mood perfectly. it’s a shame we don’t live closer to each other. I would relish torturing tourists! I injured my back about a month ago sitting in this crappy-assed chair for hours at this computer. got a newer crappy-assed chair now and thought it would get better and it did for a minute until i go to bed for the night and then it starts all over. I’m sick of the heating pad/ ibuprofen/tylenol/coffee cocktail every morning just so i can walk. grouch, grouch, grouch, grump, grump……..

  13. What kind of blogs do you read [apart from this one]??????

    Big fan of blogs on colonic irrigation or that provide new and exciting recipies for the person who likes to eat three tins of baked beans a day, washed down with 10 pints of Guinness. Why?

  14. If you don’t have something nice to say then don’t say anything! That’s why I don’t post very often.

  15. Can I respectfully ask that you crouch down and hide under your own beard and when a curious tourist comes over to investigate what appears to be a pipe-smoking elderly badger, jump up suddenly and chase them with a big stick and a wild look of murder in your eyes.


  16. Go shoot Brian Lenihan, the whingy bastard. Cheer yourself up and do the rest of us a favour. Win Win!

  17. God, but you’re a miserable shower of bastards! Great.

    What the hell is it about today? Or do we always feel like this?

    I’m feeling much better this evening. I have just been touring the local hotels adding a wee drop of cryptosporidium to their water supplies to give the tourists a taste of what Irish water really tastes like.

  18. Cryptosporidium (just looked it up). Grandad! You are pure evil!
    I find it strangely alluring……

  19. Geri – Last year all of Galway was crawling with the stuff. It’s in quite a few water supplies around the country. Our glorious government knows exactly how to treat the people!!

  20. Ah but the Irish have their whiskey to stop the little parasites dead in their tracks. Tourist’s haven’t had…time… to build (drink) up enough immunity… Oh it is a dastardly plot indeed!

    Our government relies on influenza to finish off the old and the weak – or is it just coincidence that everytime Senior Citizens demand more pension there’s a flu epidemic…..?

  21. No, scrap that – not flu – I meant water borne Legionare’s Disease (just not sure how to spell it).

  22. Aw, grandad, I’m sorry.. are you going to be okay? Anything I can do to help? Should we come visit? I’ll bring you some soup.

  23. You can borrow the kitten that escaped a watery fate from the sack I’d brought with me to the canal. The little girl who “lost” it has surely given up by now!

  24. I awake every morn with the need to brawl, but I mind my mouth and manners…perhaps too much. We all have a breaking point. Tis better to say what you need to say, than it is to hold it in and flip out on somebody. Or, is it? 🙂

    Ride into the village, have an “Americana”, and take out a few tourist. 😉

  25. okay – now you’re feeling better do you have an antidote for a thoroughly depressed greyhound who has had to have her tail amputated? I won’t mention my problems!!!!

  26. how about a group hug and then we swap body fluids to see who dies first? Jesus Christ, now I want to go out an kill all the stupid tourist drivers her is Mickey Land!

  27. Alright last chance, i think your ready. Dubya is on his way to Japan we will divert him to Dublin.

  28. June – We had him over a few days ago. He should be begining to feel the effects of the cryptosporidium by now 😈

    Kate – I read about that. Poor beast. Do you have it mounted over the fireplace?

  29. Right thats it there was no need to mention the trees and doing things like that……… how would you like it if i cut off your freaking beard…. ??! The shoe is on the other branch now ye fecker

  30. Peter – I jest. Trees are sacrosanct. I love and respect all things about nature [excluding people].

  31. No fireplaces here – and did you mean the tail or the dog????? I tend to reserve trophies on the wall for stray neighbours who rack me off!!!!!

  32. Kate – The tail, of course! I hope you didn’t throw it away, because your dog was quite attached to it? Fair play with the neighbours – I tend to just toss them in the landfill.

  33. Good plan!!! You see they don’t understand – they’re all a bit set in their ways and I’m just a mad hippy whose family lives in County Wicklow so I am a foreigner here!!! I try to avoid them but as the tip is just at the other end of the village I might have to go for it!!!

  34. Kate – Nothing wrong with mad hippies from Wicklow. *cough* Good mountain country! As for the other – invest in a wheelbarrow.

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