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Driving Miss Crazy — 29 Comments

  1. Beware my friend – our satnav has a lisp (presumably designed to drive young men wild with the sound of her thoft tones) and you cannot tell the difference between firtht and third!!!
    She thtays at home now – I can get lotht quite well without her help!!!

    Good luck with yours!!!!!

  2. Kate – I didn’t notice any lisp, but there again, I wasn’t listening to her much! I’ll be driving on the Continent in a couple of months, so there should be some fun there…..
    I suppose I could always replace her with John Cleese?

  3. You should call her Maggie, seeing as it is a case of being told “U-turn if you want to”, but the laddie is not for turning.

  4. LOL – Mine is Molly and I love disobeying her and finding new routes…we were also suspended in fields for a while on Saturday while driving up to Belfast. She is definitely coming to France with us!

  5. mmmm….. John Cleese is a better option, but only in ‘Basil Fawlty’ mode, or, as you will be abroad, maybe ‘Manuel’ for added continental confusion?

  6. Natalie – When we get to France, does she automatically speak French?

    Kate – I believe there is a Basil Fawlty available, but I’d probably end up fighting with him.

  7. Grrr. Borrowed D next door’s Sat Nav to get me to Linkin Park at the RDS on Sunday. Got me there fine but decided to take me back all round the little back doubles of County Meath just because I didn’t want to cross Dublin to get on the M50 (I live nowhere near the bloody M50). Arrived home fuming at 1am. Bloody woman. I shan’t be investing.

  8. E Mum – I’m waiting for mine to be delivered at the moment. I think it’s lost! 😐

  9. I’m working on a set of voice commands that actually DO include swearing, sulking and other real life reactions for when I ignore the directions.

    ‘Fine’, ‘Go on so’, ‘I don’t know what you’re asking me for?’, and ‘Don’t come running to me’

  10. Xbox – Put one copy aside for me 😉

    Robert – Hah! You got marked as spam! Looks good.. Sounds good.. Does it know its way around though?

  11. Lord, I thought it was a falling star I saw last night and I’m sure I heard tortured howling – must have been the satnav satellite exploding in frustration….

  12. You should pick up a hitch hiker and get the same reactions when you take an unfamiliar turn out of the route you were suppose to be on.

    It’s even more entertaining and you can also rename them as well for added giddiness!

  13. Well if the CCTV cameras everywhere aren’t bad enough now we all wish to be tracked by satellite.
    No, we don’t need to see your papers old man. We know when you’ve been and where you’re going.

  14. LOL! I always wondered if you could mess with them like that…it would sure be worth it for the entertainment factor! Something just won’t let me get one though…could be the courier/cabdriver background…or maybe that I drive a hoop-dee 🙂 Hey, got my date for the drive-by…august 3rd. Been working on the site getting ready…would you mind checking it out and let me know what you think? geez, I don’t want to be too embarrassed 🙂

  15. I hope you ordered the GARMIN – no John Cleese voice but when I did my research I found that the maps on Garmin are a lot better than Tom Tom…but who really knows…and YES I did use an INDEPENDENT guide…oh yes!!! it also told us where all the speed cameras were, pretty nifty! I hope to God Molly can’t speak French…then I am sunk.

  16. Brill… but I foresee a time when no-one actually knows where any particular place is, or how its name is pronounced. Makes furriners of us all.

  17. Geri – Heh! Was I that good?!

    Maxi – Our K8 had all sorts of weird names programmed in. We spent the last stretch heading for “Dad’s Gaff” [which, I may add, Yer Wan coped with quite well!]

    Brianf – Just wait until Google Earth goes live!!!

    Prin – I hope it will be part functional, and part entertainment. 🙂 Do you want me to help set up an ambush for the drive-by?

    Natalie – “Garmin NUVI 760T FM Europe GPS” is what it says on the tin. But it hasn’t arrived yet. Definitely lost….. ?

    Sixty – I have one of those already. I call it ‘Herself’.

    Conan – And we will all give our addresses as N56.45.13 W02.12.6?

  18. Keith Law did a spoof sat nav ad a few years back. It’d give you the directions in a Norn Iron accent! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVrSgLNFToM

    Perhaps someone needs to devise one that screams STOP every time you near a pub. That’s what I’d want. 🙂

    Maybe one with a D4 mentality would be grand? 🙂

  19. LOL – I got mine a few weeks for precisely the same reasons as you. I ten proceeded to have that exact same conversation with little Miss Snooty GPS.

    I have no sense of direction. The GPS does like to take the …shall we say “scenic” route. But it has managed to get me where I am going even if I am 4 hours late. It eases my mind when going somewhere new by myself.

  20. JD – A SatNav with a D4 accent? I’d never drive again. [“drive sythe to the rindabyte”!!]

    Hiya Lottie and welcome. 🙂 I always know where I’m going, and I always know exactly how to get there – but then I discover they have moved the roads around and that’s why I get lost!

  21. Oh, I just never go anywhere new.

    I’m 38 and I’ve lived in Los Angeles my whole life, if I haven’t been there it means I can’t buy couture, friends or illicit drugs. Therefore it’s a location not worth visiting.

    No sat nav for me.

  22. Grandad…its a GARMIN of course it will find the way to your gaf, perhaps the Irish mail got it a bit confused, but she will eventually take charge and find her own way…

  23. If you’re getting a SatNav – does that mean herself is going to get the Prada shoes?

  24. Sue – You have to buy friends? You Americans are weird!

    Natalie – Still no sigh of it. Heh!

    5h4mr0(k – No fucking way! It’s the other way around. She had a conscience about all the crap she was buying on-line so she talked me into it.

  25. “And we will all give our addresses as N56.45.13 W02.12.6?”

    Yes, exactly, although that would put you off the coast of Scotland in the North Sea south of Aberdeen. The potential for misdirection is wonderful.

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