The building industry – boom or beep?
For a long time now, people have been talking about the building boom in Ireland.
They are, of course talking about my little corner of the mountains.
For the last two years or so, there has been constant building and as a result there has been a steady stream of lorries delivering blocks, girders, and concrete.
That is all very well, but why the fuck to they have to go beep beep beep when they are reversing? Because our lane is narrow, they have to do a lot of reversing and it is driving me up the walls [the old ones, not the new ones].
One of the concrete delivery lorries stopped at my gate yesterday and the driver asked me the quickest way back to the motorway. I suggested the Old Quarry Road.
The Old Quarry Road is, surprisingly enough, a road that leads to our local quarry. We call it the Land Fill now, but it was a quarry. One day, many years ago, in a fit of overenthusiasm they blasted back the quarry face and removed a fair chunk of the road. So the road now ends in open space. There is a hundred foot drop to the quarry floor where there is now a pile of old wrecks, mostly with foreign registration plates.
They put up barriers and warning signs, as the road is extremely dangerous. Of course, we removed all the barriers and warning signs, because we know about the road and don’t drive down it. It has become our favourite spot for luring boy-racers and [naturally] tourists.
So my friend the concrete lorry driver thanked me for giving him directions to the local ‘short cut’ and sped off hoping to get home for lunch, or something.
I heard the crash from here. It was quite spectacular. It must have been quite a site – several tons of lorry dropping a hundred feet onto a pile of old cars.
But the beeping is still driving me mad.
I’d love to find the bloke who came up with that idea of the reversing beep.
I’d bury him up to his neck in quick drying concrete and play Daniel O’Donnell at him.
I wonder how he’d like that?
I thought Wicklow were pretty millitant about not giving planning permission for one off housing?
Thrifty, sod off. I’m trying to knock you off top spot.
My mate Jen has a teeny little car that goes beep when it’s reversing. Delusions of grandeur.
Thrifty – They are. These are all massive extensions. Wait until I get going 😈
E Mum – You’re not even on the list yet? I’ll tweak it a bit 😉 And tell Jen never to drive backwards.
The goverment now wants to add noise makers to electric and hybrid cars. They run too quietly and people can’t hear them coming. Of course many drivers here have already solved the problem. They connect bass speakers the approximate size of the back seat and play it at full volume. You can not only hear them coming from half a mile away you can even feel the ground vibrate beneath your feet. I wonder If I can convince thier GPS that the old bridge is still there…..
I’ve been a bit busy lately so I figure I better get my count started on the top commentators list!
There is a bit of work going on over our back wall. 2 excavators – both of which roar into life at 7:30 in the morning. All the beeping is driving me nuts.. Having had a gander over the wall it looks like they will be there for at least another couple of weeks.
As for what they are doing there to begin with is quite unusual.
Just over my back wall is the local cemetery. About three feet below the ground is a very deep layer of dense clay which tends to trap water. So when a grave is dug it fills about halfway with water after about 30 minutes. It looks a bit bad when trying to put a coffin in and it floats. It looks even worse when they have to put rocks on it to keep it down before covering it in.
They are busy trying to install some sory of drainage system there at the moment.
Eh! Where did my comment go??
They are everywhere grandad – its a universal dastardly plot to drive law abiding citizens insane. They’ve been at it for a year now just across our road, renovating a block of flats. Every day from 7am. till 4pm., BEEP BEEP BEEP – and then there’s the RADIO – and they sometimes ‘SING’ along with it. And even standing at my bedroom window in a SEE-THROUGH NIGHTIE has not seen them off…tic..tic.. (that’s my left eyelid).
I’d have paid money to see that.
I like your streak of evil.
I knew there was a reason that you kept trying to get me to race down that road! 🙂 beep…beep…beep…
I am the Top Commentator! 🙂
Jim – You can’t be serious? Cars deliberately making noises? There is only one solution to that – sound activated land-mines.
Robert – The mind boggles! You can actually have a burial at sea in your local graveyard? That sounds like quite a good gimmick? And your comment is where you put it.
Geri – I think they tuned that beep to be as irritating as possible. I can understand them on something like a bus [which you don’t expect to go backwards, very often] but on builders lorries and JCBs and the like? Aaagh!!
As for the see-through nightie – maybe all that beeping has affected their eyesight?
Xbox – Drop by anytime. I’ll arange a tour coach demo especially for you.
JD – Next time 😈
I think that they should have a recorded voice instead of a beep-beep – just like sat-nav! Think of all of the fun you could have with it –
“The lorry that you are now find yourself lying under had been trying to reverse. Please roll away now.”
“Does my rear-end look big in this lane?”
“I am sorry, but the driver who has just badly injured you is not insured right now. Please try again later.”
“What do you mean I have the face like the back of a bus?”
Aw, man! I would have dispatched the driver. A cement mixer could come in pretty handy. You could always hire Mary Harney to stand in front of it or better yet you could hire Bertie to tell everyone where it is. Noone believes what he says anyways. Either way the cement could come in handy to build a wall across your lane or you could use it to make ‘shoes’ for some of the tourists.
Oh and if the local 5-Oh have a problem with the wall just tell them it’s a speed bump to slow down traffic.
Longman – That is a fantastic idea!! I love the suggestions too. 😆
Brianf – Dispatching the driver is no fun. Granted, I could have built a six foot speed bump at the end of the lane, but I can do that any time. The fact is that the heap of cars in the Land Fill needed flattening, and that job is now done. The job is oxo, as we say here.
@Robert: pathetic attempt to get two comments for the price of one. I like it.
Have you heard the refuse trucks that go ‘warning, this vehicle is reversing’ in a sing-song voice? I bloody know, the fact that you’re driving backwards is a big hint. Duh.
You’ve struck a chord, accidentally probably, still never mind. In our gated community, Tuesdays and Friday mornings are ruined by the bin men doing over excessive reversing ……… we are thinking along the lines of pressure hoses and electrics – slightly less dramatic but possibly effective ……. if it wasn’t for the prostate problem I might use something else.
E Mum – I prefer Longman Oz’s versions. Any chance we could get them incorporated?
Daddy P – There are other options.. Sniper rifles? Landmines? I suppose you should be happy you get two collections a week?
Damn the beepers, if you can’t see a large cement truck then you probably deserve being run over, Darwin was right, survival of the fittest.
John O – Spot on. Remove the beepers and the idiots at the same time.
Will all these new houses bring prices down? Is that the idea? I’ve read about the rising house prices in Ireland. More affordable housing is what’s needed.
If you get hit by a cement truck, does that mean you are left asphalt as a pancake?
Longman – That kind of pun can get you banned!
Sam – Nearly missed you! No. House prices have collapsed of their own accord. They are down on average by 20%. But now the banks won’t lend anyone anything to buy them with!!!!!