The Book and everything you didn't want to know
There seems to be a lot of interest in The Book.
I call it The Book, because it doesn’t actually have a title yet.
So far, I have done written interviews for Damien Mulley, and the Evening Herald. I believe Declan Burke is going to mention it this evening on The Last Word on TodayFM. There is also supposed to be an article in next Friday’s Irish Daily Mail, by Sinéad Gleeson. It also got a mention in this months edition of PCLive.
I am very grateful to all the above and I am very flattered.
My problem is that really I don’t know what I’m talking about.
I was originally approached by Mercier Press, last year and was asked if I would like to write a book. I had never written one before and had never considered it. It was a bit daunting.
The original idea was to do a compendium of posts – a sort of "Best of Head Rambles". But by the time I had weeded out the too topical, the insane, the libelous and the blasphemous, I was left with about two pages. I think Mercier expected a bit more than that?
So the idea of the novel was born. And a novel is a different thing altogether from writing a blog. A novel requires characters, plots, a start, middle and an end. It requires a storyline, and all of this has to be worked out in advance.
Now comes the really tricky bit.. People are asking questions about the novel.
They are asking what it is called. I don’t know that yet. I have a few ideas, but I have to discuss them with the publisher first.
They are asking what type of novel it is. That is a tricky one. I would like to think it is humorous. It isn’t a thriller because there are only a few explosions in it. It isn’t a murder mystery, though there are a few deaths, and a murder trial. It isn’t a romance, though there is a bit of romance in it. I don’t really know how to describe it. But then how would you describe this blog?
They are asking when the book will be published. I don’t know. It depends on when I get the first draft done. It is 90% there, but that last 10% could be the rock that I perish on.
What is the book about? It’s about me. Grandad. Herself and Sandy are in it too. If I said it was about life in the village, that would sound boring. I hope it’s not boring. A lot of strange things go on in this weird world I inhabit, as any regular reader of this will know.
On a positive note, Herself asked me to read her the first couple of chapters. When I stopped reading, she pleaded with me to continue. She hounded me night after night to read her more. So either she is a crap judge of literature [but she hates Cecelia Ahern?] or she’s a masochist. She certainly isn’t listening just for my dulcet voice, or to flatter me. Herself doesn’t believe in flattery.
Suggestions for a book title on a postcard please.
How about ‘A pot of Stew’
I an not talking dinner, I am thinking of a suggestions for a book title!
The Eagle Valley Mysteries 😉
Grannymar – Actually ‘A Stew of Pot’ would be good [and more descriptive]!!
Ian – Don’t be bold.
“The Bonaventure Code”. Actually thats the title I chose for mine, but then I lost the first chapter, and it would have been incredibly libelous so there is no point in writing it anyway, so I’ll donate it to you (not that I imagine you want it). It was to be the sequel to “The cycle of the Maoir”. Long story.
“The Beach on a Hill”
Given your theory that where we live was once at sea level and may at some point in the future be once more.
It also implies a slightly topsy-turvy exisitence 😉
Could you not use the title you already have?
Head Rambles or Head Ramble. Or Ramble Head? Hmm maybe not. I’d like to see a sequel called Ramble IV – This time it’s personal!
J.
If you are looking for inspiration for a title have a look at some of the weird ones over here
Thrifty – Thank you for your generous offer. Unfortunately it would confuse people even more than the book itself. And that’s saying something.
Neighbour – Or ‘The Bitch on a Hill’? Could work?
John B – The trouble with that is that I’d do a good trade amongst hill-walkers. But there aren’t many around, and they would be a bit disappointed anyway. Though if there is a sequel, then your last suggestion is on!!
Robert – I saw that! My favourite is “I Was Tortured By the Pygmy Love Queen“. It’s probably a book on how to hang wallpaper.
And I bet “Cheese problems solved” has nothing to do with cheese 😉
Obscure?
That’s about foot hygiene.
“The mighty mighty adventures of that guy who lives down the lane, just off the main road with the dog who drives and his kooky band of merriemakers. A triology in one book, four acts, 11 chapters and two intermissions”
or
you could call it “I Was Tortured By the Pygmy Love Queen“.
“Harry Potter and the Da Vinci book of Sudoko”
You’d sell millions with that title – it could be about anything.
Brianf – Damnit!! Not only have you given the plot away, but you have just written the entire book. How did you get it?
TBA – Twenty has already done that?
Frodo’s Tourists Guide ?
Not with the Sudoko bit – that catches the Countdown watching audience. Students and pensioners.
Actually, I’ve just been reminded of the story behind REM’s “Life and How to Live It”. (Apologies for the haphazard nature of the page – it was the best link I could find and I am too lazy to explain it myself)
When I was doing my A levels we had to read a book called “Trout Fishing in America” – it wasn’t anything to do with trout fishing and led to one student being withdrawn from the course by her parents.
What about “Trimmed Hedges, Tarmac Roads and Bright Streetlights” (Ha! Ha!)
“Himself”
âTrout Fishing in Americaâ? by Richard Brautigan. He is one of my favorite writers. He also wrote, “In Watermelon Sugar”. I’m going to go dig up a copy of it and re-read it. Thanks Ian!
Honestly, I like The Book. It has an appealing authority to it. Or even just Book which has admittedly less authority but more in the way of humour. But I can’t really talk, I’m crap with titles.
Grandad Chronicles or According to Headrambles. Read you every day and will enjoy reading your book.
A few suggestions:
– Accidental Novelist
– The Life and Times of a Curmudgeon
– How to be a Curmudgeon
– Smoking Compulsory
I like Doc’s suggestion of “Himself” as well.
TT – “The Hobbit Guide to Touring Ireland”?
TBA – Don’t knock sudoku. It never fails to send me to sleep.
Ian – Intriguing! What was it about? And you are shit stirring again.
Doc – Now there’s one for thought? But Grandad is never referred to as “Himself”, though he does have another name!
JA – I like it! Sheer simplicity. But I doubt the publishers would run with that?
June – Welcome to the madhouse 🙂 I like those. Up there with ‘Chaucer’s Tales’?
Karyn – You seem to think I’m a curmudgeon?
There are some great suggestions here. I suppose it is a case of drawing up a long list and having a chat with the publisher.
The only one he rejected so far was “P.M.S. I love you”. I wonder why?
I bought “Trout Fishing in America” again in 1999. I think it might have been inspired by various substances. Ask Brianf what he thinks it’s about!
You need something that is once catchy and intriguing – though I can see “A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian” on our bookshelf, and it’s neither.
What about something as Gaeilge? (You could apply for a grant then)
Ian – You are freaking me out again. I was just reading out your reply about “Trout Fishing in America” to Herself when this comment arrived.
How about “Craic” and claim it’s as Gaeilge?
“Karyn – You seem to think I’m a curmudgeon?”
I think you give it your best shot!
Not that I’m complaining, mind!