Grandad has gone over the edge
I think I have tipped over the edge again.
I think I am certifiably insane. I know most of you think I have been there for a long time, but the tablets have been working well. Up to now.
It’s the builders next door.
They start at eight in the morning by hammering on my head. Actually, they are hammering on my roof, but the effect is the same at eight in the morning. There are three teams of them. One team is working indoors. I think they are building an Olympic Stadium in there. The house shakes, pictures sway on their hooks and there is a constant rain of dust appearing from somewhere. The second team is up on the roof. They are hammering all day, every day. The third team is out the back, just outside my window. They are the saw gang. They are cutting slates with a power saw that screams incessantly and is sending great clouds of dust across my garden.
So if I go into the front of the house, I get the jack-hammers, the crunch of falling masonry and the hammering from the roof.
If I go into the back of the house I get the hammering on the roof and the power saw.
Herself has locked herself in the bedroom and is crying uncontrollably.
Sandy is trying to chew the radiators off the walls.
I have tons of work to do, but at the moment, I’m chewing paper with a pillow tied around my head to try to muffle the noise.
So I am moving.
I don’t know where I’m going. I might take Herself and Sandy with me [if I can get into the bedroom and calm herself down, and remove that Dimplex from Sandy’s jaws].
I might write on my blog from time to time, but I won’t be commenting much on my blog or anyone else’s for a day or two. Or a week or two. It really depends on the doctors.
So talk amongst yourselves.
I must go now.
There is a six foot armadillo with a power drill in his paw sitting on the chair beside me, and he wants to give me a cuddle.
It is warm in Oz at this time of the year but you have to walk on your hands!
Sounds to me like you need my new cell phone. It’s a joint venture between Glock of Austria and Nokia of Finland.
🙂
Here in Changchun China they do the same thing in apartment blocks in the summer. From 05.30 until 10.30 they knock 9 bells out of their places. The worst thing is its mainly at weekends as that’s when the owner is free to supervise. Mainbly because when you buy an apartment in China ti is simply a concrete shell and all the plumbing and wiring is your job.
I almost went insane in my first 6 months here through sleep deprivation – this is not a joke, I really had psychological problems, my friends actually took me to the doctor. Take action, it is in your own interest health wise.
I went to their apartments and stole the hammers, I went to their apartments with rubber gloves and wire cutters to disable the power tools, I even kicked the door down on one place to get at them as they had wised up and wouldn’t answer. Worst 6 months of my life. All is well now as my company forked out for a house (expensive in China).
I saw your avitar on go!smelltheflowers, great work on the beard, unfortunately its frowned upon where I work yet right now its -28C so I really miss mine and really need it! Good luck, you have my sympathies.
Hope you find a quiet retreat mate.
I know you like to sort out things through the barrel of a gun, but if it is that bad you can apply for a court order under the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) Act, 1992, to limit the working times.
I think that rogue TwentyMajor has an assasisn friend who may be of assistance.
You must live two doors down from me, because I swear the exact same thing is going on in my next door neighbours house. Right bloody under my bedroom window. They start at 8 too which is usually when I get up, and they’re gone when I get home so it’s not so bad for me though. Here, have a cookie. They take the pain away doncha know.
Thanks, Grannymar. That’s a bit drastic. Anyway they are heading towards autumn!
Brianf – Can you send me five dozen please, with ammunition, and a top up card?
Hey Gareth! I thought I was banned in China!! I really like your approach with the builders. I’ll try it. And if your company doesn’t like beards, then I think it’s time for a change of job?
PP – The trouble with the EPA is they would restrict the hours all right, and the f*cking thing would take twice as long! And Twenty’s bloke is worse than useless. He’s a drunk.
Annie – You must call in for a cup of tea sometime. But they’re all cottages around here, so if there is building work going on under your window, it must be a very small building?
Grandad I have a room with ADSL connection available from 31st January. It’s a bit girly but it’s quiet.
Looks to me like it’s vacation time.If you don’t want to go all the way “down under” come to the ATL where it is perfectly legal to shoot intruders. Although I have been advised by the cops to drag the body inside the house before calling them; next time.
Ok. sorry. this is unrelated to your post but your edition that allows people to listen to your posts is absolutely fantastic.
What’s funny is you have opened your site up to even more users with this simple feature.
Well done.
My neighbour next door starts drilling and hammering into the dividing wall just after lunch time, every day. It wakes the baby, and even if he was awake, the sound scares him silly. Grrrrr.
The bastards near the house have been digging up Woodbine Road and the Rock Road for the past few months. If I see another arse-crack or pneumatic drill on my way to Spar I’ll go postal.
Baino – Thanks for the invite. I’m not sure about ASDL though. It mightn’t be up to my standards. And I would have to redecorate too, and paint everything black.
TT – You have that trouble with the Law too? They are very picky here about bodies lying around the place.
MaximusVario – Thanks! It’s a simple feature, and one that more blogs should incorporate.
Incidentally, have we met? XII Legion in the campaign against Gaul? The name is familiar.
Donncha – Fair’s fair. After lunch? So you only have a couple of hours of it? Stop whinging.
Brian Damage – Have you thought about inserting a pneumatic drill into an arse-crack?
Grandad says he may not blog or comment on blogs for a few days and I know why.
He has a new job! You don’t believe me?
Look see:
http://verbo.se/newscomau-photos-of-the-year/
The building that never ends.
Look at it this way, the more “teams” they have working on the place, the sooner it might be completed. Once things quiet down for awhile after the building is done then you can hunt down whoever you want and shoot them. That way it will lessen the chance of anyone tracing it back to you.
In the meantime, take a vacation to somewhere that’s a bit quieter. Give you an excuse to get a laptop if you don’t have one already.