The government should get a pay rise
Yesterday was a pain.
I decided it was time I balanced the books, and I hate anything to do with accountancy.
But it must be done. I have suppliers who must be paid, so I must make sure I am being paid. That’s the way it works.
It used to be a lot simpler in the old days, when I just grew my own. I had no supplier, so my accounts could be done on an envelope.
But then they got tired of just smoking and baking, and they started wanting to sniff and snort. That was the time I had to get an alternative source. That wasn’t easy, as I had to import the stuff, and every time a container load came in at Dublin Docks, the b*st*rds went and confiscated it for some reason. I think they were setting up their own trade, and using my supplies.
So I had to start importing on the West Coast, and with the cost of petrol these days, that’s expensive.
My biggest customer is the government. Judges, police, barristers, teachers and nuns account for a lot, but the government beats them all hands down. Bertie alone owes me €37,426.89 and that’s just for last week.
Frankly, I think he is overdoing it a bit. It is certainly affecting his memory, as he is extremely confused about past events. It also affects he speech very badly, though he was never that hot to start with.
It is costing him a fortune, and it’s no wonder his friends have to give him a dig out, even if they don’t realise they are his friends. Frankly, if it weren’t for the back-handers, and the under-the-table deals, none of them could afford to pay me. And some of them are becoming a little indiscreet. Cowan keeps using expressions like ‘drawing a line under the past’. I know when he says things like that, he it itching to get down to the toilets for a quickie. They are always talking about ‘lines’ these days, even though I have warned them to stop
Bertie rightly gave them all a big pay rise recently. It goes some way to paying off their debts, but frankly it’s only a tear-drop in the ocean.
I think Bertie and the gang deserve a much bigger pay rise.
Because I’m worth it.
Hey Grandad. Judging by that picture he drinks too much whiskey as well, or maybe that’s just a result of the columbian flu he suffers every day after drawing his lines.
EmptyHead – You tell me. Sure, the poor lad has a lot of stress to cope with. It’s only fair that he has a hobby or two…..
Now that you mention it he does fit the profile of a regular cocaine user. High pressure job, evades direct questioning, is completely full of matter of fact excuses which turn out to be lies, barely makes eye contact, fails to give proper explanation about 1000’s of Euro and has the memory span of a goldfish. And you thought that stammer was a cute little speech impediment, he obviously rubs it into his gums too.
I hope you weren’t doing any business with Katy French lately?
JackMD – Cocaine? I never mentioned cocaine? If the cap fits though…………
Did I say Cocaine, I meant ……. milk. He’s obviously just satisfied his thirst from Harney’s udders.
Aw Jayzus!!!!! Now I have to go and clean the diced carrots off the floor. That is disgusting.
Balance the books! my books are off the scale!
Hey Roy – Any chance you could take a look at mine? It sounds like you’re good at it…
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!