The neighbours are at it again.
A couple of months ago, they really annoyed me by banging and hammering. Incidentally, I’m talking about building works, not their sex life.
You all know I’m a very placid bloke who wouldn’t harm a fly. The only reason I shoot tourists is because Dubya told me to.
However, this lot got on my nerves. I was forced into a position where I had to take drastic action. I had to remove the builders. They all moved to the landfill.
It has been very peaceful since. The timbers on their building have been turning a nice brown colour as the rot sets in. I have even introduced a large colony of woodworm that I extracted from the back of a wardrobe. I thought that would be it. I could sneak in some night and quietly remove the concrete bits, and that would be the end of it.
But the buggers are back.
They are sawing or drilling or something. Whatever it is they are doing is causing great clouds of dust to fly past the window in the gale that’s blowing at the moment. And the noise is getting on my nerves again.
It isn’t a particularly nice day. I have seen worse [like Saturday] but it’s not a day for lying out in the sun. It’s not a day for relaxing in the garden. It’s certainly not a day for taking up a sniping position.
But what must be done, must be done.