Those f*cking builders next door are really getting on my nerves.
Not content with power saws and hammers, they are now hefting huge sheets of plywood around. They have been at it since half eight this morning. They are throwing them around with gay abandon, and when one lands in roughly the right place they bang dozens of nails into it.
I have just spent half an hour in the garden. I know my licence says I’m only supposed to shoot tourists, but there are limits.
I have already accounted for four. They went flying off into the garden the other side.
What is amazing though is that no one seems to have noticed! The others just wipe the blood off the plywood and carry on throwing it around.
Now I know the origin of the expression “as thick as a plank”.